Friday, December 10, 2010


again.  I just rescheduled my fill and nutritionist appointment for the second time.  I was supposed to go in November but rescheduled due to just starting the office job.  It was rescheduled for this coming Thursday, the 16th.  This time I put it off because I have submitted my two weeks notice and want to make sure the company is able to transition as smoothly as possible.

Why I care about this, I'm not quite sure.  It has to be the people pleaser in me because the work environment is beyond terrible.  The animosity, tension, and blatant disrespect that goes on there has everyone's morale in the crapper and rightly so.  I almost feel guilty that I get to leave...there are some really great ladies there and I wish I could take them with me. 

I was offered a civil service position as a med/surg nurse at the nearby Air Force base.  Not only does it let me do what I love but also offers greater stability and a chance at an actual career, regardless of where Hubster's career takes us.  I'm excited, but nervous as all get out because as Forrest Gump would say, "Med/Surg is like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you're gonna get." and I was traumatized by a clinical instructor who sure had a lot of faith in me.  The other girls used to ask what I did to make her mad because I always had the most complicated patient there was...and well, that's kinda scary!  So I will be digging out the ol' textbooks and giving myself a crash refresher course.

Band-wise, I've kinda given up.  I was so ready and so excited when this journey began.  I hoped to be closer to goal by now.  My one year bandiversary will be here before I know it and here I sit...still only 1/3 of the way there.  Someone once said that when you get to that "sweet spot", losing became"easy", they didn't have to think about losing weight anymore or not gaining.  But right now, for me, it's still a struggle and I feel it's all me.  I often wonder if I will ever actually know what restriction is?  Will I have to start this all over again in 6 months when we move?  So, for now, I just take each day for what it is.  Some are better than others, some are worse...but at the end I'm still lighter than I was 8 months ago.  I'm reminded every time I put on my jeans and button them and they're a bit loose because at this time last year, I had to use a rubberband as an extender because there was no way I could button them.


  1. Woo Hoo on the new job!!!!!! That is what I wanted to be when I grew up, but things went in another direction. Don't sweat the weight loss. I think you have been a little down in the dumps lately. Maybe when you start working at a job in your field of expertise, you will start losing again. Good luck to you!

  2. I used to teach nursing-med-surg. And I gave the most complicated patients to my best students because I knew they wouldn't kill them. So your clinical instructor may have been a b--ch but she was really making you into a great nurse. Hope all goes well.

    And once you get a few more fills, you will get that sweet spot. I never thought it would happen to me but it did each tiny little fill at a time.

  3. :) Sandy- She wasn't really a bitch...a little flighty, but not bitchy. Classroom time with her was always interesting and I certainly got experience in the clinical area with her. First patient was s/p Whipple procedure with a terminal prognosis, next was a ruptured AAA that left him paralyzed just as he started retirement, then there was the psych gal that pulled out her own chest tube, and then the lady that came for a vacation and went into respiratory failure, just came off the trach and was in isolation. Yeah...I got some great experience. LOL

    Vicky - Thanks, I have been down lately. Life just hasn't been much fun but I'm doing my best to get through it because in the grand scheme of things, I know it's just another bump in the road. But while here in it, the rough patch seems to be stretching out for miles.

  4. Congrats on the new job!

    Don't fret it too much on the weight loss issue. I to have stalled, since my "unfill" in October (and I am a bit over a year out and still only halfway to goal). I too have had to reschedule my fills and hopefully I will be able to keep this one on the 29th!!