Thursday, March 31, 2011

New Friends

I see I've gained a few new friends (followers).  I just wanted to say thanks for following me and I'd like to return the favor.  Just leave a comment with a link to your blog.

So it's the last day of March...going out a lamb??  Not here.  It's been thunderstorms and rain for us...which makes great sleeping weather for this night shifter. :)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Will Power vs. Lady Stress-A-Lot

Hi!  My name is ~*D*~ and I am a stress eater.  When I am stressed, I binge.  Anything sweet or salty in my path will be put in my mouth, chewed and swallowed without thought,  regardless of calorie count, lack of protein and carb overload. 

Regardless of how hard Will Power tries to guard the gates of my mouth to refuse entry to those things listed above he is constantly defeated by Lady Stressed-A-Lot.  Will Power wakes up every morning and marches me to my blender where I make a yummy tasting protein shake and tells me I will only drink water until morning snack when I will eat a stick of low fat string cheese, again followed by water until lunch time.  But then that bitch, Lady Stressed-A-Lot comes around while I'm trying to do my daily tasks and prepare for our upcoming move.  Once she makes an appearance all hope for Will Power is gone.  She bashes him repeatedly over the head with things like brownies (big thick brownies with marshmallows and walnuts), Pringles, Swiss Cake Rolls and sometimes even boxes of Girl Scout cookies.  Why is that bitch only likes sweet calorie laden chocolate shit?  Why can't she be a flippin' vegetarian and force carrot sticks, broccoli and cauliflower down my throat?

I am aware I am stress eating and I am trying soooo hard to  stand up with Will Power and make the right choices but I am Lady Stress-A-Lot's bitch.  She controls me and she knows it.  I want Will Power to win...I know I can't eat like this for the next two months...I can't even let it go on the next two weeks.  But how do I stop her?

I'm fine at meal times.  I'm eating the right portions and I am full.  I am not hungry but I am still turning to food to comfort me.  Maybe it's because hubby isn't ever here to see me, lack of physical friends, the fear of having even fewer physical friends in two months and seeing even less of hubby.  Maybe it's dealing with the move, trying to find another job, helping the kids cope and doing it all alone.  Sometimes it's just too hard to be everything to everyone and food is that friend I can always turn to.  It's not going to tell me I'm not good enough.  It's not going to tell me I knew what I was getting into when I married him when this isn't what I signed up for.   It's not going to judge me when I'm resentful that he gets to chase his dreams while mine stagnate.   It will give me comfort when nothing else can and therefore, I will probably always succumb to it.

Monday, March 21, 2011

No way! Not me!

So I had to work Thursday night after my quickie post.  It was a very busy night and I was kinda cranky.  Yeah, me, cranky?  Who woulda thought?  LOL

Anyhow, I finally got enough time to take a quick potty break and as I'm washing my hands, I see this little sparkly in my hair.  It must be the light.  It can't possibly be a grey hair.  However, since turning another year older on Monday, I had to know for sure.  So I pull that sparkly hair out for inspection...surely it was just the way the light was shining on it. certainly was a grey!  So I went Friday and chopped my hair all off again.  That'll teach any other grey's that are thinking of popping out a lesson, right?!  Don't show your face or I'll cut you off.  LOL

So, now not am I only another year older, my hair wants me to be very aware of that fact.  *sigh*

Thursday, March 17, 2011

just a quickie

New low sighted today.  One little step closer to being 30 down since surgery.  Yep..almost a year and only down 30lbs.  Can we say poster child for slowest loser?!

My Weight Chart:
Weight Chart

Anyhow, I got two weeks to lose two more pounds.  I WILL make this goal because I haven't made any others on time.  I really hoped to be a size 14 come the 1 year mark, but unless I lose 10 lbs in the next two weeks, I don't see that happening.

Life is busy.  I'm still on nights at the hospital on base.  I had to cross train into L&D and I was traumatized.  I will share that story some other day.  Be warned it's TMI and you may need brain bleach after reading.

Hubby has a graduation date and we're out of this form of hell in less than two months.  But nope, still don't know where we are going.  Hope that changes real soon.  AKO says he's on assignment, just not to where.  I NEED to know where.  I need to start checking into schools, child care, places to live, jobs, getting my license endorsed, etc.  Anyhow....we should know like anytime.  I ask that you please pray, cross your fingers, send good vibes, whatever that when where we are going is revealed that is says "Fort Riley".  This year hear has been hell for us...harder than two year long deployments, harder than when he left for basic and AIT.  I need a break and going back to Riley will do that.  No huge deposits or rent up front.  My daughter has built in friends and we can sell the damn house....never again will I be a landlord.  It has just added way more stress to an already stressful situation and it has all finally caught up with me.  My hands are peeling again....yes, prolonged stress is bad for you and your body will react...and usually not positively.

Anyhow...just wanted to give an update since I've been absent a good bit.  Hope everyone is doing well.  I think of you all often and am looking forward to Chicago with all your BOOBs!