Tuesday, December 25, 2012
No longer with the band...
long story. I'll explain letter. Suffice it to say that my band has been removed and my stomach looks like it belongs to the Bride of Frankenstein.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Endoscopy With a Side of Lemon
So, it's been a year since I've posted. After my last blog post, life went on as usual. The radiologist had recommended against having my band filled any more and the specialist never called me back, so I assumed all was well.
Fast forward to this past March/April when I started having really sharp pains on my left side under my breast bone that radiated up through my left shoulder. An EKG was a little off and I was sent to the ER for an overnight stay (sucks being the nurse being sent out on a gurney from work!). Stress test and cardiac enzymes all normal. No diagnosis except borderline splenomegaly. No reason for my pain. It eventually went away and again, I went on with life as usual.
Fast forward again to June when I finally got into Hopkins....yeah, it took that long! I was having increased issues with things getting stuck, still had left sided pain and swallowing was actually painful. Again, I wasn't sure about revision, but because of the issues I was having, they removed all 5cc. I considered VSG but wasn't sold and I had to re-do everything I did before the lap-band. I didn't really have the time for all the appointments or the cost involved. Symptoms seem to be alleviated with the removal of fluid and so, again, I went on with life as usual.
Yep, fast forward again to September when I fell super sick with what I thought was food poisoning from a work carry-in. Nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Horrible, horrible diarrhea that went on for weeks despite blood work and fecal cultures/testing all coming back normal. The dreaded left sided pain just under my rib to the left of my sternum and just above my port area was also back. This time worse, but I thought maybe it was my spleen again so I went back to the hematologist and had a CT of the abdomen that stated there may be some band slippage. I also started having horrible heartburn and so my primary doc put me back on Nexium and sent me back to the first practice, only I saw a different doctor who really, I think is kind of an ass. He basically accused me of doctor shopping and after waiting an hour past my appointment time and feeling like crap for well over a month, I wasn't in the best of moods. I told him my insurance had changed (I changed from the USHealth Plan back to Tricare Prime) and described my symptoms. He stated he didn't think any of this pain was band related even with the CT report findings I handed him. I point blank told him I was beyond done with this journey, I just want it out. I haven't had any fluid in my band since summer and have maintained my weight (actually lost a few more pounds). I don't want any revisions. I am just D-O-N-E! He then got cocky and was all well i can submit it to your insurance but they might not approve it and wanted to do more testing. So he ordered me an Upper GI with small bowel series. Surprise! It was normal! But since I was having the other GI issues, I had an appointment already pending with the GI specialist. I went to see him, explained my symptoms and he thought perhaps my port was irritating my phrenic nerve and causing all the chest/shoulder pain. That made sense. Anyhow, because of the heartburn and diarrhea, he ordered an endoscopy and colonoscopy. And guess what he found during the endoscopy....a side of lemon!!!
Yep, ladies and gentleman! You are looking at my Lap-Band from inside my stomach. Normally, my GI specialist wouldn't be able to see my band during an endoscope. But in his words he was "Like, Whoa!" which is funny in his little accented voice. This was done yesterday.
So, today, I call surgeon I-don't-think-it's-band-related office. I will see him on the 20rh (next week) to schedule a removal date. Needless to say, I'm glad I finally have answers, but I'm also scared shitless (and that has nothing to do with the colonscopy yesterday). I can't find any reviews on this doctor although on the state board no disciplinary action has been taken and he's never been involved in a malpractice suit. But that doesn't mean he's a good surgeon and because of the erosion there is a higher complication rate and chance I will have to have open surgery. Is it crazy to consider putting it off until January since I'm not ill and remain afebrile?
My parents are coming in for Christmas and I promised to help my bestie of over 10 years with her daughter's first slumber party on Jan 5th. She is my bestie and this is the first time in 11 years we've been within 2 hours of each other and they will be moving away back to Texas so I want as much time with her as possible and my her and my daughter are pretty good friends, too.
UGH! Happy Holidays!
Fast forward to this past March/April when I started having really sharp pains on my left side under my breast bone that radiated up through my left shoulder. An EKG was a little off and I was sent to the ER for an overnight stay (sucks being the nurse being sent out on a gurney from work!). Stress test and cardiac enzymes all normal. No diagnosis except borderline splenomegaly. No reason for my pain. It eventually went away and again, I went on with life as usual.
Fast forward again to June when I finally got into Hopkins....yeah, it took that long! I was having increased issues with things getting stuck, still had left sided pain and swallowing was actually painful. Again, I wasn't sure about revision, but because of the issues I was having, they removed all 5cc. I considered VSG but wasn't sold and I had to re-do everything I did before the lap-band. I didn't really have the time for all the appointments or the cost involved. Symptoms seem to be alleviated with the removal of fluid and so, again, I went on with life as usual.
Yep, fast forward again to September when I fell super sick with what I thought was food poisoning from a work carry-in. Nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Horrible, horrible diarrhea that went on for weeks despite blood work and fecal cultures/testing all coming back normal. The dreaded left sided pain just under my rib to the left of my sternum and just above my port area was also back. This time worse, but I thought maybe it was my spleen again so I went back to the hematologist and had a CT of the abdomen that stated there may be some band slippage. I also started having horrible heartburn and so my primary doc put me back on Nexium and sent me back to the first practice, only I saw a different doctor who really, I think is kind of an ass. He basically accused me of doctor shopping and after waiting an hour past my appointment time and feeling like crap for well over a month, I wasn't in the best of moods. I told him my insurance had changed (I changed from the USHealth Plan back to Tricare Prime) and described my symptoms. He stated he didn't think any of this pain was band related even with the CT report findings I handed him. I point blank told him I was beyond done with this journey, I just want it out. I haven't had any fluid in my band since summer and have maintained my weight (actually lost a few more pounds). I don't want any revisions. I am just D-O-N-E! He then got cocky and was all well i can submit it to your insurance but they might not approve it and wanted to do more testing. So he ordered me an Upper GI with small bowel series. Surprise! It was normal! But since I was having the other GI issues, I had an appointment already pending with the GI specialist. I went to see him, explained my symptoms and he thought perhaps my port was irritating my phrenic nerve and causing all the chest/shoulder pain. That made sense. Anyhow, because of the heartburn and diarrhea, he ordered an endoscopy and colonoscopy. And guess what he found during the endoscopy....a side of lemon!!!
Yep, ladies and gentleman! You are looking at my Lap-Band from inside my stomach. Normally, my GI specialist wouldn't be able to see my band during an endoscope. But in his words he was "Like, Whoa!" which is funny in his little accented voice. This was done yesterday.
So, today, I call surgeon I-don't-think-it's-band-related office. I will see him on the 20rh (next week) to schedule a removal date. Needless to say, I'm glad I finally have answers, but I'm also scared shitless (and that has nothing to do with the colonscopy yesterday). I can't find any reviews on this doctor although on the state board no disciplinary action has been taken and he's never been involved in a malpractice suit. But that doesn't mean he's a good surgeon and because of the erosion there is a higher complication rate and chance I will have to have open surgery. Is it crazy to consider putting it off until January since I'm not ill and remain afebrile?
My parents are coming in for Christmas and I promised to help my bestie of over 10 years with her daughter's first slumber party on Jan 5th. She is my bestie and this is the first time in 11 years we've been within 2 hours of each other and they will be moving away back to Texas so I want as much time with her as possible and my her and my daughter are pretty good friends, too.
UGH! Happy Holidays!
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Confirmation
Today was my upper GI. The radiologist confirmed there is some esophageal dilation and his recommendation is no more tightening of the band.
So the truth is out there now. I am a confirmed Lap-Band failure. Not sure what my next move is as I won't follow up with the bariatric specialist until next week sometime. If revision is recommended, I may look back at Johns Hopkins as I'm not sure I want this particular practice cutting on me. The hospital they are affiliated with doesn't have the greatest reputation around here for one, and secondly, I'm not sure they offer the procedure I'm currently considering.
*sigh*
So the truth is out there now. I am a confirmed Lap-Band failure. Not sure what my next move is as I won't follow up with the bariatric specialist until next week sometime. If revision is recommended, I may look back at Johns Hopkins as I'm not sure I want this particular practice cutting on me. The hospital they are affiliated with doesn't have the greatest reputation around here for one, and secondly, I'm not sure they offer the procedure I'm currently considering.
*sigh*
Friday, November 4, 2011
It Shouldn't Be This Hard
getting follow up care, that is. As I posted previously, getting post surgical follow up as a transient military spouse has been a challenge that I honestly did not foresee, nor was I ever warned about. I'm not sure it would have changed my mind about having weight loss surgery, but it may have changed the type of surgery I had.
Anyways, as I posted last, I have been fighting with the staff at Johns Hopkins and I thought it had been resolved. However, I was wrong. I received a voicemail yesterday stating that my the physician that had agreed to see me was not familiar with the "AP Lap-Band". He would still do a consult if I would consider revision. Seriously?! I researched this doctor and his bio was all about how he was one of the leading surgeons in pioneering "Lap-Band" surgery in the US. Not "Realize Band" but specifically Lap-Band and honestly isn't the mechanism behind both bands the same? At this point I was very near the brink of tears due to my sheer frustration with the situation. An eye-roll punctuated the "WTF-ever!" sentiment running through my head as I hung up the phone. So, out of desperation I called another bariatric place I had heard of expecting another fight.
What I got was a pleasant surprise.
When the person answered the phone, my on the brink of tears self did my best to calmly explain my situation:
Military spouse with procedure done in one state, follow up in another and recent transplant to this area with concerns of possible slippage or erosion due to the epigastric pain I am having just to the left of the xiphoid process under my ribcage. Will they see me?
Their answer was yes. They scheduled me an appointment for this coming Wednesday. No bullshit administrative fees to line their own pockets, no "well we didn't do it so we won't touch you" attitudes. Just a "how can we help" attitude and it was such a relief. Her staff took care of me in less than 5 minutes while I had been going round after round with Johns Hopkins. That my friends, is what patient centered medical home is all about and this physician and her office will be receiving a letter of appreciation for treating me as a person and not a procedure or a paycheck.
Of course, my next call was to my insurance company which is contracted with Johns Hopkins and I was almost sure this new physician wouldn't be covered since she's affiliated with a different health care system, but to my surprise she is an "in network" provider. I called my PCM for a new referral to the new surgeon and they were also awesome, faxing it over today for me. So here's hoping I am finally able to get some serious follow up and keep moving on this journey.
Tomorrow is Zumba with a new friend (she's teaching). But it's early for a weekend (9:00), so good night!
Anyways, as I posted last, I have been fighting with the staff at Johns Hopkins and I thought it had been resolved. However, I was wrong. I received a voicemail yesterday stating that my the physician that had agreed to see me was not familiar with the "AP Lap-Band". He would still do a consult if I would consider revision. Seriously?! I researched this doctor and his bio was all about how he was one of the leading surgeons in pioneering "Lap-Band" surgery in the US. Not "Realize Band" but specifically Lap-Band and honestly isn't the mechanism behind both bands the same? At this point I was very near the brink of tears due to my sheer frustration with the situation. An eye-roll punctuated the "WTF-ever!" sentiment running through my head as I hung up the phone. So, out of desperation I called another bariatric place I had heard of expecting another fight.
What I got was a pleasant surprise.
When the person answered the phone, my on the brink of tears self did my best to calmly explain my situation:
Military spouse with procedure done in one state, follow up in another and recent transplant to this area with concerns of possible slippage or erosion due to the epigastric pain I am having just to the left of the xiphoid process under my ribcage. Will they see me?
Their answer was yes. They scheduled me an appointment for this coming Wednesday. No bullshit administrative fees to line their own pockets, no "well we didn't do it so we won't touch you" attitudes. Just a "how can we help" attitude and it was such a relief. Her staff took care of me in less than 5 minutes while I had been going round after round with Johns Hopkins. That my friends, is what patient centered medical home is all about and this physician and her office will be receiving a letter of appreciation for treating me as a person and not a procedure or a paycheck.
Of course, my next call was to my insurance company which is contracted with Johns Hopkins and I was almost sure this new physician wouldn't be covered since she's affiliated with a different health care system, but to my surprise she is an "in network" provider. I called my PCM for a new referral to the new surgeon and they were also awesome, faxing it over today for me. So here's hoping I am finally able to get some serious follow up and keep moving on this journey.
Tomorrow is Zumba with a new friend (she's teaching). But it's early for a weekend (9:00), so good night!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
A Public Service Announcement
If you are a military spouse considering bariatric surgery and you will be moving frequently...this is for you.
As you can see from my ticker, I have been banded for 18 months. In those 18 months, 12 months have been spent with no kind of follow-up due to moves and bariatric specialists in the new areas not wanting to see me because I did not have the surgery with them.
I had my surgery in April 2010 at Tallgrass Surgical Center in Topeka, KS. The surgeons and staff there are great! However, due to my husband's career choice, we ended up with orders to move to Florida at the the end of May 2010. I had a a quick post op check up a week after surgery and then 3 weeks later, I went in and received my first fill (3cc in a 10cc band).
When I got to Florida June 1st, I started looking for a new specialist to follow up with. One wanted a $450 "administrative fee" that was not covered by insurance (Tricare Standard). The second "only" wanted $250 for his administrative fee. He came highly recommended, so I went with him and because we were going to be there for such a short amount of time, the fee ended up being waived....but not until after I had saved up and went to the first appointment (about 5 months after my last visit with my surgeon in KS). I think I got to see him 3 times and received a fill each time. When I left Florida at the end of May 2011, I had 5cc in my 10cc band.
So we arrive in Maryland in June 2011. The search starts again. I think I'll make it easier on myself and go with a version of Tricare Prime that will allow me to use the Johns Hopkins system. As previously posted, I was able to maintain throughout the move until we got settled. I got a referral from my Primary Care Physician in August. I didn't get around to calling the specialist until the beginning of September. The first words out of the person on the other line's mouth were "We won't see you. You didn't have your procedure done here."
My response:
"Really?! You accept a health insurance plan only offered to military families...who by the very nature of the servicemember's career are very transient because we move with the needs of the Army...but you won't see someone who had the surgery somewhere else? What happens to your patients who move away? Do you really just implant a medical device in people and say "good luck" if they move? Would you want your patient's treated that way? Would you want to be treated that way?"
So then she informs me they have a "process" and if I can fax that info to her she will submit it to the director and he will decide if they will see me. Fast forward three weeks after I fax the information and I have still not heard anything, I call to check on the status. She doesn't know but when she hears something, she'll call me. Another week later, i still haven't heard anything and had to make a visit to my PCP for another acute issue and mentioned my experience. He gets a little upset because just days before the Chief of Surgery for this group had been saying how they really wanted to start seeing more of the patients on the same plan I am on. My PCP talks with his receptionist to make a phone call. Apparently the phone call didn't get too far, so my PCP ended up sending an email to a specific doctor and his receptionist calls to give me his name. I then call back to the surgeon's to schedule. Now my info is missing...but I have a different person on the line and I after going through the above spiel again, I mention my PCP is involved and has worked it out with a specific surgeon. She does a little checking and low and behold! I'm right! So since my info was all missing, I had to fax my records once again and then fill out new patient info which I faxed back. This is all over a month after I originally faxed the requested info and I still don't have an appointment. Hopefully, that will get straightened out tomorrow.
So....long story short:
If you are an active duty family member who is likely to be moving every few years, be aware that recieving follow up care can be a very real challenge.
On another note:
I am hoping the appointment is sooner rather than later and I am hoping for some imaging with contrast. Again I'm having problems with pain on the left side of my stomach, similar to the pain I had pre-surgery that I think was related to the hiatal hernia that was repaired. I'm also concerned about possible slippage or erosion and am still considering revision to bypass. We will see.
As you can see from my ticker, I have been banded for 18 months. In those 18 months, 12 months have been spent with no kind of follow-up due to moves and bariatric specialists in the new areas not wanting to see me because I did not have the surgery with them.
I had my surgery in April 2010 at Tallgrass Surgical Center in Topeka, KS. The surgeons and staff there are great! However, due to my husband's career choice, we ended up with orders to move to Florida at the the end of May 2010. I had a a quick post op check up a week after surgery and then 3 weeks later, I went in and received my first fill (3cc in a 10cc band).
When I got to Florida June 1st, I started looking for a new specialist to follow up with. One wanted a $450 "administrative fee" that was not covered by insurance (Tricare Standard). The second "only" wanted $250 for his administrative fee. He came highly recommended, so I went with him and because we were going to be there for such a short amount of time, the fee ended up being waived....but not until after I had saved up and went to the first appointment (about 5 months after my last visit with my surgeon in KS). I think I got to see him 3 times and received a fill each time. When I left Florida at the end of May 2011, I had 5cc in my 10cc band.
So we arrive in Maryland in June 2011. The search starts again. I think I'll make it easier on myself and go with a version of Tricare Prime that will allow me to use the Johns Hopkins system. As previously posted, I was able to maintain throughout the move until we got settled. I got a referral from my Primary Care Physician in August. I didn't get around to calling the specialist until the beginning of September. The first words out of the person on the other line's mouth were "We won't see you. You didn't have your procedure done here."
My response:
"Really?! You accept a health insurance plan only offered to military families...who by the very nature of the servicemember's career are very transient because we move with the needs of the Army...but you won't see someone who had the surgery somewhere else? What happens to your patients who move away? Do you really just implant a medical device in people and say "good luck" if they move? Would you want your patient's treated that way? Would you want to be treated that way?"
So then she informs me they have a "process" and if I can fax that info to her she will submit it to the director and he will decide if they will see me. Fast forward three weeks after I fax the information and I have still not heard anything, I call to check on the status. She doesn't know but when she hears something, she'll call me. Another week later, i still haven't heard anything and had to make a visit to my PCP for another acute issue and mentioned my experience. He gets a little upset because just days before the Chief of Surgery for this group had been saying how they really wanted to start seeing more of the patients on the same plan I am on. My PCP talks with his receptionist to make a phone call. Apparently the phone call didn't get too far, so my PCP ended up sending an email to a specific doctor and his receptionist calls to give me his name. I then call back to the surgeon's to schedule. Now my info is missing...but I have a different person on the line and I after going through the above spiel again, I mention my PCP is involved and has worked it out with a specific surgeon. She does a little checking and low and behold! I'm right! So since my info was all missing, I had to fax my records once again and then fill out new patient info which I faxed back. This is all over a month after I originally faxed the requested info and I still don't have an appointment. Hopefully, that will get straightened out tomorrow.
So....long story short:
If you are an active duty family member who is likely to be moving every few years, be aware that recieving follow up care can be a very real challenge.
On another note:
I am hoping the appointment is sooner rather than later and I am hoping for some imaging with contrast. Again I'm having problems with pain on the left side of my stomach, similar to the pain I had pre-surgery that I think was related to the hiatal hernia that was repaired. I'm also concerned about possible slippage or erosion and am still considering revision to bypass. We will see.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
The Confession
Pretty much I'm just posting to admit the truth. I am a Lap-Band failure. I am still stuck in the same 5 pound plateau that I have been for over a year. Again, another move and it's been at least 3 months since I've seen a bariatric specialist. I'm pretty sure my pouch is now stretched to a full size stomach. There isn't much I can't eat (except sandwiches made with bread). I will have to call this week to set up an appointment as I finally got a referral. I'm tossing around the idea of having surgical revision to gastric bypass. But honestly, I've just pretty much given up. This fat chick isn't getting skinny and will forever be a fat chick.
As for the rest of my life, we have made the move to Maryland and things have gone much smoother than the move to Florida. I actually start work with the health clinic here on Tuesday. I'm also looking into going back to school in the fall. I was only going to do an associate's degree but the school here I still wouldn't be eligible to start until Fall 2013. So I think I'm going to go for my bachelor's instead and should hopefully be done at the same time as if I sat around waiting. I'm still looking into the area schools and seeing what kind of courses I could take through the colleges here on post (the gen ed stuff).
Munchkin and Monster are attending private school here. That is something Hubster and I thought we would do. However with the public school we were zoned for and the uncertainies of Monster having a slot in the child development center here on post, it was the best decision. They are both doing very well so far (last week was their first week).
We've had some adventures here in Maryland, already. Namely the earthquake that was felt from the Carolinas to New York and then Irene. We were very lucky with Irene. We did not lose power at all. It's very strange how just outside the gates the damage was much worse than the installation received. God had his hand over us. As for the earthquake, it was over before we really knew what was going on. Honestly, my first thought was "What are the guys blowing up today?". LOL
You probably won't see much from me as there just isn't much to report. I hope you all have a great time at the BOOBs convention! I just wanted to say hi and let you all know that I do still follow you and think of you often!
As for the rest of my life, we have made the move to Maryland and things have gone much smoother than the move to Florida. I actually start work with the health clinic here on Tuesday. I'm also looking into going back to school in the fall. I was only going to do an associate's degree but the school here I still wouldn't be eligible to start until Fall 2013. So I think I'm going to go for my bachelor's instead and should hopefully be done at the same time as if I sat around waiting. I'm still looking into the area schools and seeing what kind of courses I could take through the colleges here on post (the gen ed stuff).
Munchkin and Monster are attending private school here. That is something Hubster and I thought we would do. However with the public school we were zoned for and the uncertainies of Monster having a slot in the child development center here on post, it was the best decision. They are both doing very well so far (last week was their first week).
We've had some adventures here in Maryland, already. Namely the earthquake that was felt from the Carolinas to New York and then Irene. We were very lucky with Irene. We did not lose power at all. It's very strange how just outside the gates the damage was much worse than the installation received. God had his hand over us. As for the earthquake, it was over before we really knew what was going on. Honestly, my first thought was "What are the guys blowing up today?". LOL
You probably won't see much from me as there just isn't much to report. I hope you all have a great time at the BOOBs convention! I just wanted to say hi and let you all know that I do still follow you and think of you often!
Monday, June 20, 2011
awesome!
Due to our move, I haven't had a home-cooked meal in almost a month. I also have not had a chance to step on a scale during that time either. But yesterday, I unpacked the scale and of course the first thing I did was step on to see what the damage of he nomadic life was.
No weight gain!!!! Yes, I think that is pretty awesome.
more on the moving adventure once our internet is hooked up and I'm not having to use my phone. But in the mean time, if anyone has any recommendations for a Lap-Band doctor in the Baltimore area, I'd love to hear from you!
No weight gain!!!! Yes, I think that is pretty awesome.
more on the moving adventure once our internet is hooked up and I'm not having to use my phone. But in the mean time, if anyone has any recommendations for a Lap-Band doctor in the Baltimore area, I'd love to hear from you!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Once Again
Hubster graduated from EOD school just over a week ago. I'm so proud of him!! It was a very trying and challenging year for both of us. One I think we are both glad is over...but now on to new adventures.
We're moving to the northeast in just two weeks! I'm a jumble of emotions...but stressed seems to be at the top of the list.
I'm sad, too. Sad that we're not going back to Kansas. Sad that I'm giving up a really great job where I really love the people I work with. That also adds to the stress...once again being unemployed. Send some good vibes that something will be available at the clinic at our new duty station.
I'm angry. Angry that I have to give up this great career opportunity, once again, for his career to advance. I'm angry that, once again, I am forced to move somewhere I really don't want to go, where I know no one, and will have learn to adapt and help the kids adapt....alone.
I'm worried. I'm worried because I know how dangerous this new job of his is. I know families who's loved ones have been seriously injured and killed in this field. I'm worried because this will be my daughter's 5th school and she'll be in 5th grade (she went to the same school from preK - 1st grade). She's painfully shy and changing schools is very hard on her.
I'm hopeful. We will be at our new location for 4 years. I can actually unpack all the boxes this time. I can hang pictures on the wall and make our next house a home. We will be in an area that offers much to see and do and I hope to see and do as much of it as possible. I hope the kids enjoy it as well.
We're moving to the northeast in just two weeks! I'm a jumble of emotions...but stressed seems to be at the top of the list.
I'm sad, too. Sad that we're not going back to Kansas. Sad that I'm giving up a really great job where I really love the people I work with. That also adds to the stress...once again being unemployed. Send some good vibes that something will be available at the clinic at our new duty station.
I'm angry. Angry that I have to give up this great career opportunity, once again, for his career to advance. I'm angry that, once again, I am forced to move somewhere I really don't want to go, where I know no one, and will have learn to adapt and help the kids adapt....alone.
I'm worried. I'm worried because I know how dangerous this new job of his is. I know families who's loved ones have been seriously injured and killed in this field. I'm worried because this will be my daughter's 5th school and she'll be in 5th grade (she went to the same school from preK - 1st grade). She's painfully shy and changing schools is very hard on her.
I'm hopeful. We will be at our new location for 4 years. I can actually unpack all the boxes this time. I can hang pictures on the wall and make our next house a home. We will be in an area that offers much to see and do and I hope to see and do as much of it as possible. I hope the kids enjoy it as well.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Gosh-darn-rootin-tootin' Time!
A week late, but I am officially 30 pounds lighter since surgery. It's 20 shy of my original goal for 1 year out but since I went 4 months without follow up immediately after surgery, I'm giving myself until August 2 to lose those 20 pounds.
In other news, tomorrow I'm meeting "The Queen Bee". :-) I'm also going shopping for a new dress to wear to Hubster's graduation, which is just 3 weeks away. I'll be putting in my notice this upcoming week and May 18 will be my last day with this medical squadron. I'm working on transferring my license to Maryland, where we we will be headed at the start of June, as well as sending out resumes. Cross your fingers I can find something at the small clinic on the military installation we're headed to.
Also, I'll be leaving for B.O.O.B.s from Baltimore, so if anyone else is heading out from there and knows of any deals, please share. Not sure yet if I'm going to fly or drive (might have to drop the kiddos off at Grandma and Grandpa's along the way). Not to mention if you're in the Baltimore area and would like to get together, let me know, too!
Hope you all are having a great weekend!
In other news, tomorrow I'm meeting "The Queen Bee". :-) I'm also going shopping for a new dress to wear to Hubster's graduation, which is just 3 weeks away. I'll be putting in my notice this upcoming week and May 18 will be my last day with this medical squadron. I'm working on transferring my license to Maryland, where we we will be headed at the start of June, as well as sending out resumes. Cross your fingers I can find something at the small clinic on the military installation we're headed to.
Also, I'll be leaving for B.O.O.B.s from Baltimore, so if anyone else is heading out from there and knows of any deals, please share. Not sure yet if I'm going to fly or drive (might have to drop the kiddos off at Grandma and Grandpa's along the way). Not to mention if you're in the Baltimore area and would like to get together, let me know, too!
Hope you all are having a great weekend!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
One Year Later
Today it's been a year since I was banded. I have lost 34 pounds from my highest weight and 27 since the surgery day and I am still fat.
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| The "Jared Pic" -36 pounds. From a sz 20 to 16. |
Thursday, March 31, 2011
New Friends
I see I've gained a few new friends (followers). I just wanted to say thanks for following me and I'd like to return the favor. Just leave a comment with a link to your blog.
So it's the last day of March...going out a lamb?? Not here. It's been thunderstorms and rain for us...which makes great sleeping weather for this night shifter. :)
So it's the last day of March...going out a lamb?? Not here. It's been thunderstorms and rain for us...which makes great sleeping weather for this night shifter. :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Will Power vs. Lady Stress-A-Lot
Hi! My name is ~*D*~ and I am a stress eater. When I am stressed, I binge. Anything sweet or salty in my path will be put in my mouth, chewed and swallowed without thought, regardless of calorie count, lack of protein and carb overload.
Regardless of how hard Will Power tries to guard the gates of my mouth to refuse entry to those things listed above he is constantly defeated by Lady Stressed-A-Lot. Will Power wakes up every morning and marches me to my blender where I make a yummy tasting protein shake and tells me I will only drink water until morning snack when I will eat a stick of low fat string cheese, again followed by water until lunch time. But then that bitch, Lady Stressed-A-Lot comes around while I'm trying to do my daily tasks and prepare for our upcoming move. Once she makes an appearance all hope for Will Power is gone. She bashes him repeatedly over the head with things like brownies (big thick brownies with marshmallows and walnuts), Pringles, Swiss Cake Rolls and sometimes even boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Why is that bitch only likes sweet calorie laden chocolate shit? Why can't she be a flippin' vegetarian and force carrot sticks, broccoli and cauliflower down my throat?
I am aware I am stress eating and I am trying soooo hard to stand up with Will Power and make the right choices but I am Lady Stress-A-Lot's bitch. She controls me and she knows it. I want Will Power to win...I know I can't eat like this for the next two months...I can't even let it go on the next two weeks. But how do I stop her?
I'm fine at meal times. I'm eating the right portions and I am full. I am not hungry but I am still turning to food to comfort me. Maybe it's because hubby isn't ever here to see me, lack of physical friends, the fear of having even fewer physical friends in two months and seeing even less of hubby. Maybe it's dealing with the move, trying to find another job, helping the kids cope and doing it all alone. Sometimes it's just too hard to be everything to everyone and food is that friend I can always turn to. It's not going to tell me I'm not good enough. It's not going to tell me I knew what I was getting into when I married him when this isn't what I signed up for. It's not going to judge me when I'm resentful that he gets to chase his dreams while mine stagnate. It will give me comfort when nothing else can and therefore, I will probably always succumb to it.
Regardless of how hard Will Power tries to guard the gates of my mouth to refuse entry to those things listed above he is constantly defeated by Lady Stressed-A-Lot. Will Power wakes up every morning and marches me to my blender where I make a yummy tasting protein shake and tells me I will only drink water until morning snack when I will eat a stick of low fat string cheese, again followed by water until lunch time. But then that bitch, Lady Stressed-A-Lot comes around while I'm trying to do my daily tasks and prepare for our upcoming move. Once she makes an appearance all hope for Will Power is gone. She bashes him repeatedly over the head with things like brownies (big thick brownies with marshmallows and walnuts), Pringles, Swiss Cake Rolls and sometimes even boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Why is that bitch only likes sweet calorie laden chocolate shit? Why can't she be a flippin' vegetarian and force carrot sticks, broccoli and cauliflower down my throat?
I am aware I am stress eating and I am trying soooo hard to stand up with Will Power and make the right choices but I am Lady Stress-A-Lot's bitch. She controls me and she knows it. I want Will Power to win...I know I can't eat like this for the next two months...I can't even let it go on the next two weeks. But how do I stop her?
I'm fine at meal times. I'm eating the right portions and I am full. I am not hungry but I am still turning to food to comfort me. Maybe it's because hubby isn't ever here to see me, lack of physical friends, the fear of having even fewer physical friends in two months and seeing even less of hubby. Maybe it's dealing with the move, trying to find another job, helping the kids cope and doing it all alone. Sometimes it's just too hard to be everything to everyone and food is that friend I can always turn to. It's not going to tell me I'm not good enough. It's not going to tell me I knew what I was getting into when I married him when this isn't what I signed up for. It's not going to judge me when I'm resentful that he gets to chase his dreams while mine stagnate. It will give me comfort when nothing else can and therefore, I will probably always succumb to it.
Monday, March 21, 2011
No way! Not me!
So I had to work Thursday night after my quickie post. It was a very busy night and I was kinda cranky. Yeah, me, cranky? Who woulda thought? LOL
Anyhow, I finally got enough time to take a quick potty break and as I'm washing my hands, I see this little sparkly in my hair. It must be the light. It can't possibly be a grey hair. However, since turning another year older on Monday, I had to know for sure. So I pull that sparkly hair out for inspection...surely it was just the way the light was shining on it.
Nope...it certainly was a grey! So I went Friday and chopped my hair all off again. That'll teach any other grey's that are thinking of popping out a lesson, right?! Don't show your face or I'll cut you off. LOL
So, now not am I only another year older, my hair wants me to be very aware of that fact. *sigh*
Anyhow, I finally got enough time to take a quick potty break and as I'm washing my hands, I see this little sparkly in my hair. It must be the light. It can't possibly be a grey hair. However, since turning another year older on Monday, I had to know for sure. So I pull that sparkly hair out for inspection...surely it was just the way the light was shining on it.
Nope...it certainly was a grey! So I went Friday and chopped my hair all off again. That'll teach any other grey's that are thinking of popping out a lesson, right?! Don't show your face or I'll cut you off. LOL
So, now not am I only another year older, my hair wants me to be very aware of that fact. *sigh*
Thursday, March 17, 2011
just a quickie
New low sighted today. One little step closer to being 30 down since surgery. Yep..almost a year and only down 30lbs. Can we say poster child for slowest loser?!
My Weight Chart:
Anyhow, I got two weeks to lose two more pounds. I WILL make this goal because I haven't made any others on time. I really hoped to be a size 14 come the 1 year mark, but unless I lose 10 lbs in the next two weeks, I don't see that happening.
Life is busy. I'm still on nights at the hospital on base. I had to cross train into L&D and I was traumatized. I will share that story some other day. Be warned it's TMI and you may need brain bleach after reading.
Hubby has a graduation date and we're out of this form of hell in less than two months. But nope, still don't know where we are going. Hope that changes real soon. AKO says he's on assignment, just not to where. I NEED to know where. I need to start checking into schools, child care, places to live, jobs, getting my license endorsed, etc. Anyhow....we should know like anytime. I ask that you please pray, cross your fingers, send good vibes, whatever that when where we are going is revealed that is says "Fort Riley". This year hear has been hell for us...harder than two year long deployments, harder than when he left for basic and AIT. I need a break and going back to Riley will do that. No huge deposits or rent up front. My daughter has built in friends and we can sell the damn house....never again will I be a landlord. It has just added way more stress to an already stressful situation and it has all finally caught up with me. My hands are peeling again....yes, prolonged stress is bad for you and your body will react...and usually not positively.
Anyhow...just wanted to give an update since I've been absent a good bit. Hope everyone is doing well. I think of you all often and am looking forward to Chicago with all your BOOBs!
My Weight Chart:
Anyhow, I got two weeks to lose two more pounds. I WILL make this goal because I haven't made any others on time. I really hoped to be a size 14 come the 1 year mark, but unless I lose 10 lbs in the next two weeks, I don't see that happening.
Life is busy. I'm still on nights at the hospital on base. I had to cross train into L&D and I was traumatized. I will share that story some other day. Be warned it's TMI and you may need brain bleach after reading.
Hubby has a graduation date and we're out of this form of hell in less than two months. But nope, still don't know where we are going. Hope that changes real soon. AKO says he's on assignment, just not to where. I NEED to know where. I need to start checking into schools, child care, places to live, jobs, getting my license endorsed, etc. Anyhow....we should know like anytime. I ask that you please pray, cross your fingers, send good vibes, whatever that when where we are going is revealed that is says "Fort Riley". This year hear has been hell for us...harder than two year long deployments, harder than when he left for basic and AIT. I need a break and going back to Riley will do that. No huge deposits or rent up front. My daughter has built in friends and we can sell the damn house....never again will I be a landlord. It has just added way more stress to an already stressful situation and it has all finally caught up with me. My hands are peeling again....yes, prolonged stress is bad for you and your body will react...and usually not positively.
Anyhow...just wanted to give an update since I've been absent a good bit. Hope everyone is doing well. I think of you all often and am looking forward to Chicago with all your BOOBs!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
A Giveaway from Eggface
So, you all know I've been hounding "The World According to Eggface" for new recipes to try. So far, I've only tried some of the protein shakes. My favorite is the strawberry cheesecake one although I plan on trying the green giant soon.
Anyhow, she's having a giveaway and if you'd like to enter, just click on the image below!
Anyhow, she's having a giveaway and if you'd like to enter, just click on the image below!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Back to the previously sighted low
So, it appears that good ol' Aunt Flo was in for a visit at the time of my last post. Since she has gone away so has the three pounds she brought with her. I am now back to the previously new low of 192. I am still in size 16's. I wonder if 14's will ever happen. So close....but so far away!
Anyhow, Sunday is weigh-in day so I'm really hoping to break the curse of the 190's and see 189. I need some motivation. I've been plateau'd in the 190's for like 6 months! It sucks! But I do feel this fill is doing it's job. I don't think I'm quite to the ever elusive "sweet spot" but I think I'm getting close.
Now, I just gotta get this booty moving. I've never been a fan of exercise and I hate panting and sweating like a dog. Hence why summer in the pool was great for me. So I am going to break down and finally order the Zumba DVDs since I haven't found a class that works with my work schedule. *sigh* I also wanted to get opinions on the Wii game "Just Dance". Have any of you played this...I've heard it's a pretty good work out and anything that is fun and gets my booty moving is a good investment for me.
So while I haven't been doing the cardio, I have been doing a little weight training. Working on the ever dreaded batwings and doing situps with the exercise ball I have. I really should start taking measurments since the scale doesn't like to move. Maybe I'd find motivation there?
So that's the scoop. Other aspects of life continue to be on the sucky side without an end in sight anytime soon. Hubby's still struggling with EOD school which while it's his school, puts a lot of stress on me, too. The new job is okay. Being a landlord blows and I want to stab the eyes out of my current property manager. Working on finding a new one....
Anyhow, Sunday is weigh-in day so I'm really hoping to break the curse of the 190's and see 189. I need some motivation. I've been plateau'd in the 190's for like 6 months! It sucks! But I do feel this fill is doing it's job. I don't think I'm quite to the ever elusive "sweet spot" but I think I'm getting close.
Now, I just gotta get this booty moving. I've never been a fan of exercise and I hate panting and sweating like a dog. Hence why summer in the pool was great for me. So I am going to break down and finally order the Zumba DVDs since I haven't found a class that works with my work schedule. *sigh* I also wanted to get opinions on the Wii game "Just Dance". Have any of you played this...I've heard it's a pretty good work out and anything that is fun and gets my booty moving is a good investment for me.
So while I haven't been doing the cardio, I have been doing a little weight training. Working on the ever dreaded batwings and doing situps with the exercise ball I have. I really should start taking measurments since the scale doesn't like to move. Maybe I'd find motivation there?
So that's the scoop. Other aspects of life continue to be on the sucky side without an end in sight anytime soon. Hubby's still struggling with EOD school which while it's his school, puts a lot of stress on me, too. The new job is okay. Being a landlord blows and I want to stab the eyes out of my current property manager. Working on finding a new one....
Monday, January 31, 2011
F.T.S. !!!!! *edited*
That's my abbreviation for "Eff the Scale". I want to throw the damn thing out the window and watch it burst into a million little pieces. Maybe I'll set it up on the fence and take the pellet gun to it? Whatever! The damn thing is NOT my friend and I hate it. It WILL NOT MOVE!!!!
C'mon! I just had a fill and that first week the numbers went down, down, down and I saw a new low. Then *bounce* it went right back to 195. I have been stuck between 194 and 197 for months!!!!!
I have been super vigilant about what I'm eating...I'm seriously only eating once or twice a day. No snacking. I actually have some restriction and hunger just don't come around like it used to. I've also been making a conscious effort to move more. Even at work, walking laps around the unit just to move, volunteering for the lab runs. So why?! Why isn't the damn scale moving?!!!!
Is there anyone out there who started their lapband journey with less than 100lbs to lose? Did the weight just melt off like it seems to do with those who started out with more to lose? Or was it also more of the (unbearably) "slow and steady"?
Dammit, I'm ready for size 14's and a new flippin' wardrobe. I hate that everything I wore two years ago (when I was this size) still fits. I hate that after I had my son, I went from 212 to 185 in about 3 months with the help of phentermine. Now I eat about the same amount of calories as i did then with the same amount of movement and the scale won't budge. I feel like I'm destined to be stuck at this point forever...and it's not a horrible place to be stuck at because honestly, with a tummy tuck, lipo and and a lower body lift I could probably be happy with my body...heck even with just a tummy tuck I'd be pretty content.
*sigh*
Edited to add: God apparently has a sense of humor! From the Facebook app "God Wants You to Know":
"God doesn't create faulty life. No. Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you. So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is. "
*Photo Credit
"God doesn't create faulty life. No. Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you. So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is. "
*Photo Credit
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Not So Smooth
My first attempt seemed simple enough:
Low fat vanilla yogurt
Frozen cherry berry blend
1% milk
A drizzle of honey
Sounds like it should work, right? Yeah, well it didn't. I think it was the honey, but it had a weird aftertaste and it got poured down the sink. I just couldn't force myself to ingest it.
Tonight, I decided I really wanted to play with the Torani Sugar Free Syrup I bought on the recommendation of Eggface. I'm out of protein powder so I was making do with what I had. I thought this sounded good in theory.
1 cup low fat vanilla yogurt
1/4 cup pumpkin puree
2 tbsp SF Torani Caramel Syrup
Once again, not very good. I think it was the syrup, to be honest. It seemed to have a cheap alcohol aftertaste. Not what I was looking for. I was thinking creamy pumpkin pie-ish. But again, my sink was fed.
I have resigned myself to sticking with what Eggface has already proven to be tried and true. Now if it was pay day so I could actually get some protein powder.
On the bright side, I'm looking forward to trying the SF Caramel Latte recipe on the Torani bottle tomorrow morning. It sounds right up my alley and cheaper than Sbux.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
The Visit
So the visit kinda sucked! Nothing like going to a weight-loss doctor and showing a weight gain! Granted, it was only two pounds that could be accounted for by my jeans and shoes (last time I was in capris and flip-flops that they had me slide off before getting on the scale). But nonetheless....kinda embarrassing.
I asked about the pain I was having that was much like the pain I had prior to surgery that was chalked up to the hiatal hernia that was repaired during banding. He kinda blew it off like it was nothing but I'm still kinda worried the repair might not have stuck. Guess I won't know unless it keeps happening or my next doc looks into it further.
I did end up getting a fill. This is my third since my surgery in April. I'm sitting at 5cc in a 10cc band. Honestly, this might be the one that really gets the show on the road. I'm down 4 pounds since my appointment on Wednesday and about to see a new low! 180's should be arriving by the end of this coming week. :) However, because I actually feel some restriction now and can really only eat about 4-5 bites of something before I'm full, I see I will definitely have to get serious about the vitamin regimen or I'm going to really be anemic (I tend to run borderline as is).
I also met with the nutritionist, who I really liked and she gave me some great ideas for band friendly foods on the go. I just can't take much more yogurt and string cheese.....
On that note, hubby and I are going out tonight to celebrate our 6 year anniversary (it was on the 15th) and the fact he passed his test on guided missiles and is still in EOD school. Thank the Lord!! We're going with a girl I work with and her husband to a local seafood place on the bay. Then maybe off to a movie if anything looks good!
Hope you all have a great weekend!
I asked about the pain I was having that was much like the pain I had prior to surgery that was chalked up to the hiatal hernia that was repaired during banding. He kinda blew it off like it was nothing but I'm still kinda worried the repair might not have stuck. Guess I won't know unless it keeps happening or my next doc looks into it further.
I did end up getting a fill. This is my third since my surgery in April. I'm sitting at 5cc in a 10cc band. Honestly, this might be the one that really gets the show on the road. I'm down 4 pounds since my appointment on Wednesday and about to see a new low! 180's should be arriving by the end of this coming week. :) However, because I actually feel some restriction now and can really only eat about 4-5 bites of something before I'm full, I see I will definitely have to get serious about the vitamin regimen or I'm going to really be anemic (I tend to run borderline as is).
I also met with the nutritionist, who I really liked and she gave me some great ideas for band friendly foods on the go. I just can't take much more yogurt and string cheese.....
On that note, hubby and I are going out tonight to celebrate our 6 year anniversary (it was on the 15th) and the fact he passed his test on guided missiles and is still in EOD school. Thank the Lord!! We're going with a girl I work with and her husband to a local seafood place on the bay. Then maybe off to a movie if anything looks good!
Hope you all have a great weekend!
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