Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas

May you all be blessed!

Friday, November 11, 2011


Today was my upper GI.  The radiologist confirmed there is some esophageal dilation and his recommendation is no more tightening of the band. 

So the truth is out there now.  I am a confirmed Lap-Band failure.  Not sure what my next move is as I won't follow up with the bariatric specialist until next week sometime.  If revision is recommended, I may look back at Johns Hopkins as I'm not sure I want this particular practice cutting on me.  The hospital they are affiliated with doesn't have the greatest reputation around here for one, and secondly, I'm not sure they offer the procedure I'm currently considering.


Friday, November 4, 2011

It Shouldn't Be This Hard

getting follow up care, that is.  As I posted previously, getting post surgical follow up as a transient military spouse has been a challenge that I honestly did not foresee, nor was I ever warned about.  I'm not sure it would have changed my mind about having weight loss surgery, but it may have changed the type of surgery I had.

Anyways, as I posted last, I have been fighting with the staff at Johns Hopkins and I thought it had been resolved.  However, I was wrong.  I received a voicemail yesterday stating that my the physician that had agreed to see me was not familiar with the "AP Lap-Band".   He would still do a consult if I would consider revision. Seriously?!  I researched this doctor and his bio was all about how he was one of the leading surgeons in pioneering "Lap-Band" surgery in the US.  Not "Realize Band" but specifically Lap-Band and honestly isn't the mechanism behind both bands the same?  At this point I was very near the brink of tears due to my sheer frustration with the situation.  An eye-roll punctuated the "WTF-ever!" sentiment running through my head as I hung up the phone.  So, out of desperation I called another bariatric place I had heard of expecting another fight.

What I got was a pleasant surprise.

When the person answered the phone, my on the brink of tears self did my best to calmly explain my situation:
Military spouse with procedure done in one state, follow up in another and recent transplant to this area with concerns of possible slippage or erosion due to the epigastric pain I am having just to the left of the xiphoid process under my ribcage.  Will they see me?

Their answer was yes.  They scheduled me an appointment for this coming Wednesday.  No bullshit administrative fees to line their own pockets, no "well we didn't do it so we won't touch you" attitudes.  Just a "how can we help" attitude and it was such a relief.  Her staff took care of me in less than 5 minutes while I had been going round after round with Johns Hopkins.  That my friends, is what patient centered medical home is all about and this physician and her office will be receiving a letter of appreciation for treating me as a person and not a procedure or a paycheck. 

Of course, my next call was to my insurance company which is contracted with Johns Hopkins and I was almost sure this new physician wouldn't be covered since she's affiliated with a different health care system, but to my surprise she is an "in network" provider.  I called my PCM for a new referral to the new surgeon and they were also awesome, faxing it over today for me.  So here's hoping I am finally able to get some serious follow up and keep moving on this journey.

Tomorrow is Zumba with a new friend (she's teaching). But it's early for a weekend (9:00), so good night!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

A Public Service Announcement

If you are a military spouse considering bariatric surgery and you will be moving frequently...this is for you.

As you can see from my ticker, I have been banded for 18 months.  In those 18 months, 12 months have been spent with no kind of follow-up due to moves and bariatric specialists in the new areas not wanting to see me because I did not have the surgery with them.

I had my surgery in April 2010 at Tallgrass Surgical Center in Topeka, KS.  The surgeons and staff there are great!  However, due to my husband's career choice, we ended up with orders to move to Florida at the the end of May 2010.  I had a a quick post op check up a week after surgery and then 3 weeks later, I went in and received my first fill (3cc in a 10cc band).

When I got to Florida June 1st, I started looking for a new specialist to follow up with.  One wanted a $450 "administrative fee" that was not covered by insurance (Tricare Standard).  The second "only" wanted $250 for his administrative fee.  He came highly recommended, so I went with him and because we were going to be there for such a short amount of time, the fee ended up being waived....but not until after I had saved up and went to the first appointment (about 5 months after my last visit with my surgeon in KS).  I think I got to see him 3 times and received a fill each time.  When I left Florida at the end of May 2011, I had 5cc in my 10cc band.

So we arrive in Maryland in June 2011.  The search starts again. I think I'll make it easier on myself and go with a version of Tricare Prime that will allow me to use the Johns Hopkins system.  As previously posted, I was able to maintain throughout the move until we got settled.  I got a referral from my Primary Care Physician in August.  I didn't get around to calling the specialist until the beginning of September.  The first words out of the person on the other line's mouth were "We won't see you.  You didn't have your procedure done here."
My response:
"Really?!  You accept a health insurance plan only offered to military families...who by the very nature of the servicemember's career are very transient because we move with the needs of the Army...but you won't see someone who had the surgery somewhere else?  What happens to your patients who move away?  Do you really just implant a medical device in people and say "good luck" if they move?  Would you want your patient's treated that way?  Would you want to be treated that way?"
So then she informs me they have a "process" and if I can fax that info to her she will submit it to the director and he will decide if they will see me.  Fast forward three weeks after I fax the information and I have still not heard anything, I call to check on the status.  She doesn't know but when she hears something, she'll call me.  Another week later, i still haven't heard anything and had to make a visit to my PCP for another acute issue and mentioned my experience.  He gets a little upset because just days before the Chief of Surgery for this group had been saying how they really wanted to start seeing more of the patients on the same plan I am on.  My PCP talks with his receptionist to make a phone call.  Apparently the phone call didn't get too far, so my PCP ended up sending an email to a specific doctor and his receptionist calls to give me his name.  I then call back to the surgeon's to schedule.  Now my info is missing...but I have a different person on the line and I after going through the above spiel again, I mention my PCP is involved and has worked it out with a specific surgeon.  She does a little checking and low and behold!  I'm right!  So since my info was all missing, I had to fax my records once again and then fill out new patient info which I faxed back.  This is all over a month after I originally faxed the requested info and I still don't have an appointment.  Hopefully, that will get straightened out tomorrow.

So....long story short:
If you are an active duty family member who is likely to be moving every few years, be aware that recieving follow up care can be a very real challenge.

On another note:
I am hoping the appointment is sooner rather than later and I am hoping for some imaging with contrast.  Again I'm having problems with pain on the left side of my stomach, similar to the pain I had pre-surgery that I think was related to the hiatal hernia that was repaired.  I'm also concerned about possible slippage or erosion and am still considering revision to bypass.  We will see.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Confession

Pretty much I'm just posting to admit the truth. I am a Lap-Band failure. I am still stuck in the same 5 pound plateau that I have been for over a year. Again, another move and it's been at least 3 months since I've seen a bariatric specialist. I'm pretty sure my pouch is now stretched to a full size stomach. There isn't much I can't eat (except sandwiches made with bread). I will have to call this week to set up an appointment as I finally got a referral. I'm tossing around the idea of having surgical revision to gastric bypass. But honestly, I've just pretty much given up. This fat chick isn't getting skinny and will forever be a fat chick.
Weight Chart

As for the rest of my life, we have made the move to Maryland and things have gone much smoother than the move to Florida. I actually start work with the health clinic here on Tuesday. I'm also looking into going back to school in the fall. I was only going to do an associate's degree but the school here I still wouldn't be eligible to start until Fall 2013. So I think I'm going to go for my bachelor's instead and should hopefully be done at the same time as if I sat around waiting. I'm still looking into the area schools and seeing what kind of courses I could take through the colleges here on post (the gen ed stuff).

Munchkin and Monster are attending private school here. That is something Hubster and I thought we would do. However with the public school we were zoned for and the uncertainies of Monster having a slot in the child development center here on post, it was the best decision. They are both doing very well so far (last week was their first week).

We've had some adventures here in Maryland, already. Namely the earthquake that was felt from the Carolinas to New York and then Irene. We were very lucky with Irene. We did not lose power at all. It's very strange how just outside the gates the damage was much worse than the installation received. God had his hand over us. As for the earthquake, it was over before we really knew what was going on. Honestly, my first thought was "What are the guys blowing up today?". LOL

You probably won't see much from me as there just isn't much to report.  I hope you all have a great time at the BOOBs convention!  I just wanted to say hi and let you all know that I do still follow you and think of you often!

Monday, June 20, 2011


Due to our move, I haven't had a home-cooked meal in almost a month. I also have not had a chance to step on a scale during that time either. But yesterday, I unpacked the scale and of course the first thing I did was step on to see what the damage of he nomadic life was.

No weight gain!!!! Yes, I think that is pretty awesome.

more on the moving adventure once our internet is hooked up and I'm not having to use my phone. But in the mean time, if anyone has any recommendations for a Lap-Band doctor in the Baltimore area, I'd love to hear from you!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Once Again

Hubster graduated from EOD school just over a week ago.  I'm so proud of him!!  It was a very trying and challenging year for both of us.  One I think we are both glad is over...but now on to new adventures.
We're moving to the northeast in just two weeks!  I'm a jumble of emotions...but stressed seems to be at the top of the list.

I'm sad, too.  Sad that we're not going back to Kansas.  Sad that I'm giving up a really great job where I really love the people I work with.  That also adds to the stress...once again being unemployed.  Send some good vibes that something will be available at the clinic at our new duty station.

I'm angry.  Angry that I have to give up this great career opportunity, once again, for his career to advance.  I'm angry that, once again, I am forced to move somewhere I really don't want to go, where I know no one, and will have learn to adapt and help the kids adapt....alone.

I'm worried.  I'm worried because I know how dangerous this new job of his is.  I know families who's loved ones have been seriously injured and killed in this field.  I'm worried because this will be my daughter's 5th school and she'll be in 5th grade (she went to the same school from preK - 1st grade).  She's painfully shy and changing schools is very hard on her.

I'm hopeful.  We will be at our new location for 4 years.  I can actually unpack all the boxes this time.  I can hang pictures on the wall and make our next house a home.  We will be in an area that offers much to see and do and I hope to see and do as much of it as possible.  I hope the kids enjoy it as well.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Gosh-darn-rootin-tootin' Time!

A week late, but I am officially 30 pounds lighter since surgery.  It's 20 shy of my original goal for 1 year out but since I went 4 months without follow up immediately after surgery, I'm giving myself until August 2 to lose those 20 pounds.

In other news, tomorrow I'm meeting "The Queen Bee".  :-)  I'm also going shopping for a new dress to wear to Hubster's graduation, which is just 3 weeks away.  I'll be putting in my notice this upcoming week and May 18 will be my last day with this medical squadron.  I'm working on transferring my license to Maryland, where we we will be headed at the start of June, as well as sending out resumes.  Cross your fingers I can find something at the small clinic on the military installation we're headed to.

Also, I'll be leaving for B.O.O.B.s from Baltimore, so if anyone else is heading out from there and knows of any deals, please share.  Not sure yet if I'm going to fly or drive (might have to drop the kiddos off at Grandma and Grandpa's along the way).   Not to mention if you're in the Baltimore area and would like to get together, let me know, too!

Hope you all are having a great weekend!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

One Year Later

Today it's been a year since I was banded.  I have lost 34 pounds from my highest weight and 27 since the surgery day and I am still fat.  


The "Jared Pic"
-36 pounds.  From a sz 20 to 16.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

New Friends

I see I've gained a few new friends (followers).  I just wanted to say thanks for following me and I'd like to return the favor.  Just leave a comment with a link to your blog.

So it's the last day of March...going out a lamb??  Not here.  It's been thunderstorms and rain for us...which makes great sleeping weather for this night shifter. :)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Will Power vs. Lady Stress-A-Lot

Hi!  My name is ~*D*~ and I am a stress eater.  When I am stressed, I binge.  Anything sweet or salty in my path will be put in my mouth, chewed and swallowed without thought,  regardless of calorie count, lack of protein and carb overload. 

Regardless of how hard Will Power tries to guard the gates of my mouth to refuse entry to those things listed above he is constantly defeated by Lady Stressed-A-Lot.  Will Power wakes up every morning and marches me to my blender where I make a yummy tasting protein shake and tells me I will only drink water until morning snack when I will eat a stick of low fat string cheese, again followed by water until lunch time.  But then that bitch, Lady Stressed-A-Lot comes around while I'm trying to do my daily tasks and prepare for our upcoming move.  Once she makes an appearance all hope for Will Power is gone.  She bashes him repeatedly over the head with things like brownies (big thick brownies with marshmallows and walnuts), Pringles, Swiss Cake Rolls and sometimes even boxes of Girl Scout cookies.  Why is that bitch only likes sweet calorie laden chocolate shit?  Why can't she be a flippin' vegetarian and force carrot sticks, broccoli and cauliflower down my throat?

I am aware I am stress eating and I am trying soooo hard to  stand up with Will Power and make the right choices but I am Lady Stress-A-Lot's bitch.  She controls me and she knows it.  I want Will Power to win...I know I can't eat like this for the next two months...I can't even let it go on the next two weeks.  But how do I stop her?

I'm fine at meal times.  I'm eating the right portions and I am full.  I am not hungry but I am still turning to food to comfort me.  Maybe it's because hubby isn't ever here to see me, lack of physical friends, the fear of having even fewer physical friends in two months and seeing even less of hubby.  Maybe it's dealing with the move, trying to find another job, helping the kids cope and doing it all alone.  Sometimes it's just too hard to be everything to everyone and food is that friend I can always turn to.  It's not going to tell me I'm not good enough.  It's not going to tell me I knew what I was getting into when I married him when this isn't what I signed up for.   It's not going to judge me when I'm resentful that he gets to chase his dreams while mine stagnate.   It will give me comfort when nothing else can and therefore, I will probably always succumb to it.

Monday, March 21, 2011

No way! Not me!

So I had to work Thursday night after my quickie post.  It was a very busy night and I was kinda cranky.  Yeah, me, cranky?  Who woulda thought?  LOL

Anyhow, I finally got enough time to take a quick potty break and as I'm washing my hands, I see this little sparkly in my hair.  It must be the light.  It can't possibly be a grey hair.  However, since turning another year older on Monday, I had to know for sure.  So I pull that sparkly hair out for inspection...surely it was just the way the light was shining on it. certainly was a grey!  So I went Friday and chopped my hair all off again.  That'll teach any other grey's that are thinking of popping out a lesson, right?!  Don't show your face or I'll cut you off.  LOL

So, now not am I only another year older, my hair wants me to be very aware of that fact.  *sigh*

Thursday, March 17, 2011

just a quickie

New low sighted today.  One little step closer to being 30 down since surgery.  Yep..almost a year and only down 30lbs.  Can we say poster child for slowest loser?!

My Weight Chart:
Weight Chart

Anyhow, I got two weeks to lose two more pounds.  I WILL make this goal because I haven't made any others on time.  I really hoped to be a size 14 come the 1 year mark, but unless I lose 10 lbs in the next two weeks, I don't see that happening.

Life is busy.  I'm still on nights at the hospital on base.  I had to cross train into L&D and I was traumatized.  I will share that story some other day.  Be warned it's TMI and you may need brain bleach after reading.

Hubby has a graduation date and we're out of this form of hell in less than two months.  But nope, still don't know where we are going.  Hope that changes real soon.  AKO says he's on assignment, just not to where.  I NEED to know where.  I need to start checking into schools, child care, places to live, jobs, getting my license endorsed, etc.  Anyhow....we should know like anytime.  I ask that you please pray, cross your fingers, send good vibes, whatever that when where we are going is revealed that is says "Fort Riley".  This year hear has been hell for us...harder than two year long deployments, harder than when he left for basic and AIT.  I need a break and going back to Riley will do that.  No huge deposits or rent up front.  My daughter has built in friends and we can sell the damn house....never again will I be a landlord.  It has just added way more stress to an already stressful situation and it has all finally caught up with me.  My hands are peeling again....yes, prolonged stress is bad for you and your body will react...and usually not positively.

Anyhow...just wanted to give an update since I've been absent a good bit.  Hope everyone is doing well.  I think of you all often and am looking forward to Chicago with all your BOOBs!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A Giveaway from Eggface

So, you all know I've been hounding "The World According to Eggface" for new recipes to try.  So far, I've only tried some of the protein shakes.  My favorite is the strawberry cheesecake one although I plan on trying the green giant soon.

Anyhow, she's having a giveaway and if you'd like to enter, just click on the image below!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Back to the previously sighted low

So, it appears that good ol' Aunt Flo was in for a visit at the time of my last post.  Since she has gone away so has the three pounds she brought with her.  I am now back to the previously new low of 192.  I am still in size 16's.  I wonder if 14's will ever happen.  So close....but so far away!

Anyhow, Sunday is weigh-in day so I'm really hoping to break the curse of the 190's and see 189.  I need some motivation.  I've been plateau'd in the 190's for like 6 months!  It sucks!  But I do feel this fill is doing it's job.  I don't think I'm quite to the ever elusive "sweet spot" but I think I'm getting close.

Now, I just gotta get this booty moving.  I've never been a fan of exercise and I hate panting and sweating like a dog.  Hence why summer in the pool was great for me.  So I am going to break down and finally order the Zumba DVDs since I haven't found a class that works with my work schedule. *sigh*  I also wanted to get opinions on the Wii game "Just Dance".  Have any of you played this...I've heard it's a pretty good work out and anything that is fun and gets my booty moving is a good investment for me.

So while I haven't been doing the cardio, I have been doing a little weight training.  Working on the ever dreaded batwings and doing situps with the exercise ball I have.  I really should start taking measurments since the scale doesn't like to move.  Maybe I'd find motivation there?

So that's the scoop.  Other aspects of life continue to be on the sucky side without an end in sight anytime soon.  Hubby's still struggling with EOD school which while it's his school, puts a lot of stress on me, too.  The new job is okay.  Being a landlord blows and I want to stab the eyes out of my current property manager.  Working on finding a new one....

Monday, January 31, 2011

F.T.S. !!!!! *edited*

That's my abbreviation for "Eff the Scale".  I want to throw the damn thing out the window and watch it burst into a million little pieces.  Maybe I'll set it up on the fence and take the pellet gun to it?  Whatever!  The damn thing is NOT my friend and I hate it.  It WILL NOT MOVE!!!!

C'mon!  I just had a fill and that first week the numbers went down, down, down and I saw a new low.  Then *bounce* it went right back to 195.  I have been stuck between 194 and 197 for months!!!!!

I have been super vigilant about what I'm eating...I'm seriously only eating once or twice a day.  No snacking.  I actually have some restriction and hunger just don't come around  like it used to.  I've also been making a conscious effort to move more.  Even at work, walking laps around the unit just to move, volunteering for the lab runs.  So why?!  Why isn't the damn scale moving?!!!! 

I really thought I could see 189 last week, but no....went right back to the status quo!  Amusingly enough, it must not have been level on the floor because one day it read 343lb!  That was 100+ over even my heaviest weight....but it got me thinking....if I had started my journey at 343lbs instead of 219lbs, I'd probably have lost close to 100 by now instead of just a measley 27.  Which got me thinking some more:

Is there anyone out there who started their lapband journey with  less than 100lbs to lose? Did the weight just melt off like it seems to do with those who started out with more to lose?  Or was it also more of the (unbearably) "slow and steady"? 

Dammit, I'm ready for size 14's and a new flippin' wardrobe.  I hate that everything I wore two years ago (when I was this size) still fits.  I hate that after I had my son, I went from 212 to 185 in about 3 months with the help of phentermine.  Now I eat about the same amount of calories as i did then with the same amount of movement and the scale won't budge.  I feel like I'm destined to be stuck at this point forever...and it's not a horrible place to be stuck at because honestly, with a tummy tuck, lipo and and a lower body lift I could probably be happy with my body...heck even with just a tummy tuck I'd be pretty content.


Edited to add:  God apparently has a sense of humor!  From the Facebook app "God Wants You to Know":

"God doesn't create faulty life. No. Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you. So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is. "

*Photo Credit

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Not So Smooth

Smoothie making is apparently not my thing!  No, I haven't had the blender explode on me but my concoctions are not drinkable.   See, I was inspired by the blog "The World According to Eggface" to get creative with my protein shakes/smoothies. 

My first attempt seemed simple enough:
Low fat vanilla yogurt
Frozen cherry berry blend
1% milk
A drizzle of honey

Sounds like it should work, right?  Yeah, well it didn't.  I think it was the honey, but it had a weird aftertaste and it got poured down the sink.  I just couldn't force myself to ingest it.

Tonight, I decided I really wanted to play with the Torani Sugar Free Syrup I bought on the recommendation of Eggface.  I'm out of protein powder so I was making do with what I had.  I thought this sounded good in theory.
1 cup low fat vanilla yogurt
1/4 cup pumpkin puree
2 tbsp SF Torani Caramel Syrup

Once again, not very good.  I think it was the syrup, to be honest.  It seemed to have a cheap alcohol aftertaste.  Not what I was looking for.  I was thinking creamy pumpkin pie-ish.  But again, my sink was fed.

I have resigned myself to sticking with what Eggface has already proven to be tried and true.  Now if it was pay day so I could actually get some protein powder.  Really?  Why does every single one have to be jumbo sized and at least $30??  I could really use half the size at half the price so I could get two flavors!

On the bright side, I'm looking forward to trying the SF Caramel Latte recipe on the Torani bottle tomorrow morning.  It sounds right up my alley and cheaper than Sbux.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Visit

So the visit kinda sucked!  Nothing like going to a weight-loss doctor and showing a weight gain!  Granted, it was only two pounds that could be accounted for by my jeans and shoes (last time I was in capris and flip-flops that they had me slide off before getting on the scale).  But nonetheless....kinda embarrassing.

I asked about the pain I was having that was much like the pain I had prior to surgery that was chalked up to the hiatal hernia that was repaired during banding.  He kinda blew it off like it was nothing but I'm still kinda worried the repair might not have stuck.  Guess I won't know unless it keeps happening or my next doc looks into it further.

I did end up getting a fill.  This is my third since my surgery in April.  I'm sitting at 5cc in a 10cc band.  Honestly, this might be the one that really gets the show on the road.  I'm down 4 pounds since my appointment on Wednesday and about to see a new low!  180's should be arriving by the end of this coming week. :)  However, because I actually feel some restriction now and can really only eat about 4-5 bites of something before I'm full, I see I will definitely have to get serious about the vitamin regimen or I'm going to really be anemic (I tend to run borderline as is).

 I also met with the nutritionist, who I really liked and she gave me some great ideas for band friendly foods on the go.  I just can't take much more yogurt and string cheese.....

On that note, hubby and I are going out tonight to celebrate our 6 year anniversary (it was on the 15th) and the fact he passed his test on guided missiles and is still in EOD school.  Thank the Lord!!  We're going with a girl I work with and her husband to a local seafood place on the bay.  Then maybe off to a movie if anything looks good!

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Dreading Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my appointment with the nutritionist and doc for a fill.  I've been doing the food/drink log they ask for and do not want to turn it over to them!  I am going to get quite the lecture about what I'm eating that I shouldn't be.

Let's see theres the:
Little Debbie Cakes
Chocolate Cake
Cereal w/ milk (although I don't think I'll ever give this up)
Not sure if this is a no-no but since he said I shouldn't eat bread, it probably is....I had a biscuit with sausage and gravy the other day for breakfast.

No wonder I haven't lost more weight, right?  But seriously, I don't eat that every day.  I'm chalking it up to the stress eating and the fact that I have some weird mind thing going on where I know I have to go to the nutritionist and should be eating super good to impress them, but the exact opposite is happening.  Upon deeper thought, I'm sure it will be revealed I have some issues and this self-sabotage means something...but I don't feel like going there right now.

Then there's also the issue that I'm not drinking enough water/fluids.  Always has been an issue with me though being direct care staff in health care.  We can't have it around patients, patient charts, etc. and we don't have time to hang out in the break room.  Not to mention there's no time to pee!  But I've been trying to do better to get taht 64oz in....still not there but it's a work in progress.

Probably the best thing on my little intake sheet is the "Smart Ones" Sante Fe Chicken from their Bistro line.  It's 140 calories, 20g of protein and actually tastes pretty darn good.  Now if I could only eat those every meal every day....could some of you who don't mind eating the same thing day in and day out pass that on to me?

So in order to combat my horrible choices, I am religiously following "The World According to Eggface".  Lots of great recipes and her little egg bites are awesome and portable (but they stuck to my mini muffin pans in a way that they could not be saved and I need new ones...anyone care to donate?)  If you haven't checked out her blog, please do.  Just click on the image to your right.

So that's my goal for week #3....plan out a healthier, band friendly menu for the whole family and I'm using the above blog to get my recipes!

Oh...and I bought an excercise ball that I am trying to use as my new seat in the house because even just sitting takes musles....but how can you just sit when you're on a ball???  So more movement.  In fact, I've done sit ups two days in a row on it!!!!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Stop the Stress Eating!

bad, bad, bad!!!!  But I'm doing it and it's driving me mad because I. know. better!  However, it just hit me a few moments ago as to why I am doing it.  I noticed I was doing it, but  not sure why.  Now I know.

Hubster double tapped in the guided missiles portion of EOD school just before Christmas Exodus.  He caught a break and was recommended to repeat the course without having to go in front of a review board.  He just started the class again yesterday and the big test is in exactly one week.  If he fails it again, he is more than likely done with EOD school.  However, his previous MOS is currently overmanned and the Army is cutting almost 50,000 jobs thanks to the budget cuts for the DoD.  Meaning, should he fail out of EOD school, it's likely he won't have a job to go back to in the Army and they will begin the discharge process.

It makes me extremely thankful that I am now in a civil service position, but my income is nowhere near enough to support our family.  Not to mention I have to complete my 90 days here before I can transfer to any other DoD position.  I'd do my best to get a position near our home in Kansas and pray like hell hubby could find something there either with Caterpillar, a gov't contractor or civil service position. 

To make things worse, I have an appointment on Wednesday for a fill and to see the nutritionist.  They are going to be very upset when they see how much I have eaten and it's craptastic nutritional value.  I feel like a big band failure as I haven't lost any weight since the week after I got my last fill in September.  *sigh* 

I'm really praying hubby gets through this school...and would appreciate it if you'd send good thoughts his way, too.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Week #2

I didn't meet the 64oz of water every day goal last week...but am much closer.  So, while goal wasn't met , it's definitely a big improvement and I will continue working on it.

This week's goal:

I will only eat 3 small meals a day with 2 snacks.  This goal is band related as we are not supposed to graze and only eat 3 small meals.  However, I do not have restriction and my stomach is literally growling at the 3 hour mark.  To accomplish this, I will be setting the alarm on my phone for 4 hour intervals during waking hours and only eat at/around those times.  Working 12.5 hour night shifts kinda throws the schedule and depending on patient census dictates if/when I get to eat.  :)  But my goal is ultimately to stop the grazing, as it's become a bad habit and one a bandster shouldn't have.

Hope everyone is well!!  This week is nuts as I still have in-processing crap I have to attend really throwing a wrench in the schedule, so I'll catch up and comment as soon as I can!   Have a great week, y'all!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Step by Step

Well, with it being a new year and all, I've decided I'm going to take this banded life by the horns and really work it this year.  But we all know too many big changes all at once will cause feelings of being overwhelmed, frustrated, etc. and result in giving up on said goals.

So to combat this, I'm taking the advise of a nurse I worked with who lost 50lbs on her own and kept it off.  I'm making one positive change a week.  I can make one change per week as it takes doing something 16-24 times for it to become habit.

This week my positive change is to consume at least 64oz of plain water daily.

I chose this as my first goal because consuming the recommended amount of water is good for us in so many ways!  One simple change with many long lasting benefits, some which become apparent right away....and we all like that instant gratification! :)

So here's to 52 healthy new habits this year!!!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Banded or Bulemic?

Somedays, it's hard to tell the difference!

Apparently, my band clamps shut in the middle of the night.  Last night was my first night 12 hour night shift at the base hospital.  About 1am I was stomach growling, trying to digest itself kind of hungry.  So I went to warm up the turkey with gravy and sweet potato casserole I brought from home.  One bite of turkey and two bites of sweet potato casserole.  Stuck...painfully stuck and going to throw up. 

Tossed it up and was still very uncomfortable, lots of sliming, etc.  Threw up two more times.  Definitely looked like I threw up more than I ate...weird huh?  Anyhow...quite embarrassing considering it was my first night shift with a new crowd.  I'm feeling a little tight today yet but am wondering how I'll make my protein/calorie goals if I can't getnything down during the hours I'm actually awake?  Protein shakes, I guess.

I've also noticed that I tend to have more "stuck" episodes followed by PB or throwing up when it's meat that's been reheated in the microwave.   Not just the turkey, but I've noticed it with steak, chicken and other meats.  Goes down fine the first time, then if I warm up leftovers the next day....that's when the whole stuck, PB, slime, vomit episodes occur.  Anyone else notice this?

It's just so frustrating to tolerate one thing one time and then 12 hours later get stuck on the exact same thing, hence the title.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Where does 10 years go?

Here we are in 2011, a new decade.

10 years ago:

I had been married 2 months (ex-husband).
I was a new Army wife.
I lived in Temple, TX.
I was not a mom.
I worked as a gymnastics instructor.
I was a certified nursing assistant who had dropped out of nursing school after the first semester.
Present day:
I will celebrate my 6th wedding anniversary on the 15th (Hubster).
I am again, an Army wife, just more seasoned. (going on 6 years with hubster plus 3 with the ex)
I currently live in the Florida panhandle (and have lived in Indiana, Oklahoma and Kansas since TX)
I have two children and two step-children.
I am now a licensed practical nurse and  have completed all the pre-reqs for my RN.
I work for the Department of Defense, caring for our service members and their families.

Weight-wise, I probably weigh the same today as I did 10 years ago or pretty darn close.  I'm hoping that a year from today, I'll weigh what I did two decades ago, and be even closer to that RN degree.

Bring on 2011!