Friday, July 30, 2010

Guess Who Went Off Her Meds?

female warrior anime Pictures, Images and PhotosThe Battle

He's slowly creeping back into my life
Drawn back in by my loneliness and strife

Try as I might, it's a battle I won't win
It won't be long before he's in control again
Telling me I'm not worth the space I take up
That I'll be better off if I never wake up

I'm quickly spiraling back to the bottom
Evoking the nightmares I'd once forgotten
All sense of reason quickly begins to fade
As I relive every mistake I have ever made

Death and darkness consume every thought
In Depression's icy clutches I am caught

(written, copyrighted and published by blog author)

I should have known better, but it's been a solid year on those little life-saving blue and green capsules and thought it was time to see about weaning off. Apparently, it's not time. Therefore, I apologize for my dramatic, hair-flip, stage left exit. However, that is truly how I was feeling at the moment...not good enough. And that is a feeling I have battled all my life along with battling that bastard, Depression.

I created this blog to deal with the not only the loss of physical weight with the help of the Lap-Band, but to shed some emotional weight as well. Apparently the feeling of not being "good enough" for anyone is baggage that's going to take a little longer to sift through.

So here I am, trying to make my way through shit creek....paddle or not, to the clear waters I know exist somewhere upstream!


  1. Hi *~D~*,

    So glad you're back. xx

  2. HI D.. So glad you are back.. hang in there NONE of us is perfect.. and I have far more imperfect days than perfect ones.. I am glad you are back on line.. feel free to vent all you want.. blogging is very therapeutic.. at least for me.

  3. So glad to see you back. I have been off my anti-depressants for almost 3 years but think I need to go back on them as I am not fully myself. Good for you for recognizing that you need them. I always say, that a diabetic would die without insulin so it isn't any different when our brain needs a chemical to keep us alive. Good luck on your climb back.

  4. Hi D! I found you through Barbara. I'm glad you're back blogging so I can follow you. Take care - we're all here for you.

  5. Hi D-
    I just found you through a few other bloggers and am glad to be on board. I'm so sorry you are struggling and hope that we can offer you comfort and support.

  6. Welcome back!! It's nice to hear from you again.

  7. Hey there cupcake...soooo glad you're back with us all.
    Please don't leave us again.

  8. I am so happy you've come back to Blogland. There are a lot of us who can sympathize with your battle. Many of us fight a similar one ourselves.

    We're here for you hun! I know things kinda slow down here during the summer, but I am online almost all the time (I have no life lol). If you ever want to talk one-on-one, please feel free to e-mail me:

    *HUGS* Again, I am so happy you've come back. We never meant to make you feel unloved or uninteresting.

  9. Whew...i am so glad that you decided to stick around! I LOVE keeping up with you through your blog!! And for what its worth, you are far funnier than i am! :) Hope things start to turn around for you soon! i think of you often and miss you so much...