to a Fat Chick Stays Fat!
Why, because it's the truth! Every diet I have been on since I was 20, the lowest I seem to be able to get is 190. I was sitting at 193 yesterday. I've been banded for 7 months and have only lost 26 pounds...that's barely over 3 pounds a month. Not the two pounds a week I was hoping for.
Also, when stress hits, I eat. Isn't that a problem many of us have with food that caused us to get to the point that we needed the band?
Well, the last 5 months have been nothing but stress and it's just piling on some more. Between it taking me over 3 months to find a job and the Army finance office screwing up hubby's pay things have been miserable. Things should be better as they finally fixed his pay and I have a steady income now....but no. Some gov't agency screwed up again and we won't know which one until Monday. Anyhow, the error once again, has a severe impact on our finances and I had to call and cancel Thanksgiving. We were supposed to meet my family in Nashville for the weekend. I haven't seen my dad in almost a year because I had to cancel our summer visit for an interview and he couldn't come when my mom brought Munchkin home. Needless to say, there were a lot of tears last night. Christmas is also likely to be cancelled (we had planned to take the kids to Busch Gardens for the weekend) because the tenants who were supposed to be out of our house on the 15th of Oct are still there and didn't pay the rent this month and because they are still there we've lost two people who wanted to move in ASAP...not sure we'll have rent in December so we're paying our rent here and the mortgage, too. There will be Christmas decorations, but that's the extent this year.
So yeah, I have eaten every chocolate, sugar laden thing I can get into my mouth. Do I know it's self destructive? Yes. Do I care? No. Just hand over the sweets and no one gets hurt because I don't see anything changing as long as we are here.
I honestly regret moving to Florida. We've survived without Hubster for weeks, months, and years before. But I thought the Army separates us enough, how could we volunatarily spend a year apart when we didn't have to? The kids need him, too. Well, we should have just kept our butts in Kansas and without any renters, maybe I should just open the doors to the house and sell everything we can't fit in the car and go back. If only it would take us back in time, too, to where I only worked 4 nights a month and we had no credit card debt, a healthy savings account and able to do the fun stuff we wanted to do, when we wanted to do it.
I've tried to be positive, trusting in God and walking in faith....well let's just say at this point, eff that too! But I'll be at church tomorrow just for shits and giggles to see what kind of message He has to impart anyways.