"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

John 3:16

"For to us a child is born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6



And that, my friends, is the greatest Gift ever given! 

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you and may your New Year be filled with blessings!

Image Credit

A New Look

My dear friend, Sabrina, hooked my blog up with a new look!  Thank  you, Sabrina!  You did a great job!

If you are into photography, crafts and/or cooking, you might like her blog, too.  You can find it here:

Memoirs of A Marine Corps Wife

Rescheduled...

again.  I just rescheduled my fill and nutritionist appointment for the second time.  I was supposed to go in November but rescheduled due to just starting the office job.  It was rescheduled for this coming Thursday, the 16th.  This time I put it off because I have submitted my two weeks notice and want to make sure the company is able to transition as smoothly as possible.

Why I care about this, I'm not quite sure.  It has to be the people pleaser in me because the work environment is beyond terrible.  The animosity, tension, and blatant disrespect that goes on there has everyone's morale in the crapper and rightly so.  I almost feel guilty that I get to leave...there are some really great ladies there and I wish I could take them with me. 

I was offered a civil service position as a med/surg nurse at the nearby Air Force base.  Not only does it let me do what I love but also offers greater stability and a chance at an actual career, regardless of where Hubster's career takes us.  I'm excited, but nervous as all get out because as Forrest Gump would say, "Med/Surg is like a box of chocolates.  You never know what you're gonna get." and I was traumatized by a clinical instructor who sure had a lot of faith in me.  The other girls used to ask what I did to make her mad because I always had the most complicated patient there was...and well, that's kinda scary!  So I will be digging out the ol' textbooks and giving myself a crash refresher course.

Band-wise, I've kinda given up.  I was so ready and so excited when this journey began.  I hoped to be closer to goal by now.  My one year bandiversary will be here before I know it and here I sit...still only 1/3 of the way there.  Someone once said that when you get to that "sweet spot", losing became"easy", they didn't have to think about losing weight anymore or not gaining.  But right now, for me, it's still a struggle and I feel it's all me.  I often wonder if I will ever actually know what restriction is?  Will I have to start this all over again in 6 months when we move?  So, for now, I just take each day for what it is.  Some are better than others, some are worse...but at the end I'm still lighter than I was 8 months ago.  I'm reminded every time I put on my jeans and button them and they're a bit loose because at this time last year, I had to use a rubberband as an extender because there was no way I could button them.

Crafty

Here are some of the ornaments we made this weekend.  The kids really loved doing them and now I have keepsakes to give them when they are grown and have kids of their own.

I also have outdoor Christmas lights for the first time in my adult life!  It took 6 years together to get Hubster to actually put them up!  They're nothing spectacular, just some icicle lights on the porch and multi colored ones on the bushes, but they make me smile.  The tree is up, too.  I wish I had the talent to make it look like one from a magazine but it never turns out that way.  Instead there are ornaments all bunched together, gaps between branches and all that goes with letting kids help put it up and decorate...which is way better!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with family, friends and yes, delicious food, too!

We were supposed to be halfway to Nashville right now to spend the holiday with my parents, my brother and my nieces.  However, it wasn't in the cards for any of us.  Instead, we planned to just do a small turkey and all the fixings here at home.   But, that changed, too!  We will be spending the day with another family from our church and I'm not going to lie, I'm looking forward to it.  They host our weekly Life Group meetings and are so sweet but apparently the husband is Mr. Gourmet Chef without even trying.  He's the guy that can have something delish at a restaurant and go home and make it, without a recipe.  Anyhow, he's smoking a turkey and yes, I am looking forward to trying it!  I am making sweet potatocasserole, green bean casserole, cherry delight and a pumpkin pie to take.  I'm thankful I don't have to make the turkey, but honestly, I'm going to miss having enough leftovers that I don't have to cook for the rest of the weekend.  LOL 

I will be out at 3am trying to score some deals from Kohls.  It's the only place I have a charge card to and it's the only way the kids will have anything under the tree.  I'm not planning on going overboard, but trying to make sure they have at least a pair of pajamas and a toy to open.  I also have to pick up something for Monster and T since their birthdays are each within a week of Christmas.  Again it won't be much, but enough they have something to unwrap on their big days.

I'm also planning on getting crafty!  We're going to attempt to make salt dough homemade ornaments not only to decorate the tree, but to give as gifts.  So if you know a crafty way to attach a photo to a clay-like ornament, please leave a comment and let me know. 

May all your holidays be blessed!

*Photo Credit

What I Eat

Work week:

Breakfast:

Coffee with 2 tbsp Dulce de Leche creamer - 100 calories
Snack size ziplock of dry cereal

Morning Snack:
lately it's been snack size candy from the kids' halloween stash

Lunch:
Leftovers from the night before, whatever the drug rep brings in or a SmartOnes frozen meal

Afternoon snack:
more candy from the kids halloween stash, a yogurt or string cheese.  Depends on what's in my lunch bag and how crappy of a day it's been.

Dinner:
Whatever I make the family.  The other night it was burritos and I just eat the insides because the tortillas get stuck.  Other nights it's chicken and veggies, pot roast with veggies, etc.

Night time snack:
Again, sugar laden or chocolate.


Yes, I eat 6 times a day.  Even with a morning snack my stomach is loudly growling with hunger at lunch.  Same thing, even with an afternoon snack, it's growling by 5 when I get off work and dinner usually isn't til 7.  So I usually end up snacking while making dinner.  Sad, but true.  But I'm 7 months post op and have had only 2 fills resulting in barely,any restriction.  The only things I can't eat since being banded are breads.  So no sandwiches, pizza, doughnuts, rolls, croissants, etc.  I also don't exercise beyond the squats and walking done at work.  So that is why my weight loss is so much slower than many who are banded the same time as me.

I know we're not supposed to compare ourselves to others, but we're human and we all do it.  So yes, I get frustrated when I see someone banded the same time as me who's lost 60 lbs.  But my goal is to lose 75lbs, as I barely met the qualifications of being 100lbs overweight.  I'm not going to shed it as fast as someone who has twice as much to lose.  My weight loss may be slower and I may not do everything right, but I'm still losing and that's what counts.

Irony?

Would that be keeling over from chest pain while at work in an office that specializes in cardiology?

Not sure what's going on...guess it's time to find a primary doctor in this town.

Ever Wish You Could

turn life's clock back to when you were happy?  It's been so long since I've been happy, I'm not sure I remember what it feels like.

I do know that it isn't the constant disappointment and stress I've been experiencing since this last move. The stress has been so constant that I've been getting muscle spasms in my jaw. (I have a bad habit of clenching my jaw when I'm stressed and have apparently been doing it A LOT!)

I miss my life before Florida.  I miss having true friends, as here there are only aquaintances.  I miss having a job I enjoyed and excelled at.  Now, I have a job that doesn't pay enough and adds to the jaw clenching.  I'm looking for a second job, but finding just one took 4 months.  There may be something in the works and I pray that it comes to fruition as it is more pay and I'd pretty much have a job at our next duty station whereever it is when Hubster is done here.  Please keep your fingers crossed for me.

We came here so we could be together as a family because the military separates us often enough without a choice.  Yet, we will likely not be able to do even one of the excursions we had planned on during our time here. 

I'm completely bummed about Christmas as well.  We weren't going to do gifts beyond stockings this year as we had planned to take the kids to Busch Gardens for the weekend.  Circumstances have made sure that our trip will not be happening.  And due to those circumstances, there will still only be stockings (if that) under the tree on Christmas morning.  I know Jesus is the reason for the season.  I know that we should just be happy that we will be spending the holiday together, as a family, under the same roof, instead of on opposite sides of the earth.  But I love picking out the perfect gift for my loved ones.  I love seeing the wonder in my children's eyes at all the presents under the tree and the joyful smiles when they unwrap that one thing they've really been wanting.  It makes me sad to know that won't be part of the Christmas Magic this year.  To top it off our sons have birthdays the week before and the week after Christmas and I have no idea what we're going to do for those either.

I'm just so sick of the struggle and yet, I know there is nothing I can do but keep trudging through it.  I wish there was some end in sight but it's likely to get uglier before it even starts to get better.  I wish I  had the faith and trust that God has it all under control and everything will work out just peachy keen...but I don't.  I've tried that path and as hard as it was, I truly trusted Him and believed all would work out.  Instead, things have just continued the spiral downward.  I feel like I am trying to climb out of a hole, only to find the bottom dropped out  to reveal an endless abyss and the walls are now covered in oil.

Thanks if you got this far.  I hate to be Debbie Downer all the effin' time but I gotta get it out somewhere.  So without any friends here and a hubby who doesn't understand, here it is in my private public journal.

Holiday Challenge

Good luck to all!!!  May we all be one step closer to or at our goals at the end!!!!  Glad something worked out that I could still be a part of it.

Yes, I am in a foul mood

just in case you didn't pick up on it in my last post. 

Yes - I know the band is a tool.

Yes - I know that one has to use it in it's intended capacity for it to do it's job (just like any other tool)

Yes - I know the band restricts portion size which can reduce calorie intake

No - I am not  currently using the band as it was intended.

No - I am not making good food choices.

Will I make better food choices tomorrow?   Maybe, maybe not.  Either way I don't really care because at this point with yet another chance to see my family ruined and the awesome plans we had made for the kids' Christmas adventure also getting flushed down the toilet, having a fat ass is the least of my concerns.

I'm Changing my Blog Title

to a Fat Chick Stays Fat!

Why, because it's the truth!  Every diet I have been on since I was 20, the lowest I seem to be able to get is 190.  I was sitting at 193 yesterday.  I've been banded for 7 months and have only lost 26 pounds...that's barely over 3 pounds a month.  Not the two pounds  a week I was hoping for.

Also, when stress hits, I eat.  Isn't that a problem many of us have with food that caused us to get to the point that we needed the band?

Well, the last 5 months have been nothing but stress and it's just piling on some more.  Between it taking me over 3 months to find a job and the Army finance office screwing up hubby's pay things have been miserable.  Things should be better as they finally fixed his pay and I have a steady income now....but no.  Some gov't agency screwed up again and we won't know which one until Monday.  Anyhow, the error once again, has a severe impact on our finances and I had to call and cancel Thanksgiving.  We were supposed to meet my family in Nashville for the weekend.  I haven't seen my dad in almost a year because I had to cancel our summer visit for an interview and he couldn't come when my mom brought Munchkin home.  Needless to say, there were a lot of tears last night.  Christmas is also likely to be cancelled (we had planned to take the kids to Busch Gardens for the weekend) because the tenants who were supposed to be out of our house on the 15th of Oct are still there and didn't pay the rent this month and because they are still there we've lost two people who wanted to move in ASAP...not sure we'll have rent in December so we're paying our rent here and the mortgage, too.  There will be Christmas decorations, but that's the extent this year.

So yeah, I have eaten every chocolate, sugar laden thing I can get into my mouth.  Do I know it's self destructive? Yes.  Do I care?  No.  Just hand over the sweets and no one gets hurt because I don't see anything changing as long as we are here. 

I honestly regret moving to Florida.  We've survived without Hubster for weeks, months, and years before.  But I thought the Army separates us enough, how could we volunatarily spend a year apart when we didn't have to?   The kids need him, too.  Well, we should have just kept our butts in Kansas and without any renters, maybe I should just open the doors to the house and sell everything we can't fit in the car and go back.  If only it would take us back in time, too, to where I only worked 4 nights a month and we had no credit card debt, a healthy savings account and able to do the fun stuff we wanted to do, when we wanted to do it.
I've tried to be positive, trusting in God and walking in faith....well let's just say at this point, eff that too!  But I'll be at church tomorrow just for shits and giggles to see what kind of message He has to impart anyways.

Double Dog Dare Ya Challenge Update

I am doing well for the most part.  There were 2 days that I went over my allotted calories by 100.  That's what happens when you can't tally til the end of the day.  Seriously...at work there is no time for anything extra.  No chit chat, no nothing.  I am so nose to the grindstone just trying to keep my head above water while learning this new position, it's not even funny.  I would seriously come in early and work through my lunch and even stay over if they'd let me.  I am a firm believer in doing what it takes to get the job done and it drives me bonkers to know I'm barely getting the minimum done.  I've brought it up with the person training me and my boss...but without success.

With the exception of the two days I've been over (and neither have been since Halloween), the rest, I have been under by a couple hundred calories.  That is good to know that once I get to my goal weight, I can feel satisfied eating only the calories I should.  The water intake is steady just at 64oz....no more no less.

So with all that going well, the scale went up!  Yesterday (one week into the challenge) I was at 197.  It really makes no sense.  According to The Daily Plate, at my current weight and activity level I should be consuming almost 1800 calories a day to lose 2 pounds a week.  I haven't hit that since the challenge began.  On my highest calorie day it was 1680.  So...why does the scale go up when in reality I'm averaging 1100 cal/day?  It had to be my monthly visitor...because the math just doesn't add up.

*sigh*  Hoping to see a big drop this week now that she's gone.

Double Dog Dare

I'm going to take the challenge.  This will be my first challenge since being banded. 

Goal Weight: 145 x 11 = 1,595 calories per day

Today's weight: 194

 

Breakfast:  Protein bar - 280 cal,  29g protein

                 Coffee with 2tbsp fat free creamer - 60 cal

Lunch:  5 grilled bbq chicken wings from home:  330 cal, 37g protein

             1  light string cheese stick:  60 cal, 8g protein

Supper:  1 cup ham & bean soup:  150 cal, 13g protein

              cornbread w/ butter: 162 cal, 1g protein

Snack:  Two bites (one from each kid's candy bar) Milky Way:  76 cal, 1g protein

Water:  64oz

Total for today:  1060 calories and 91g protein

        535 calories short

I was not hungry for snack...I just wanted chocolate.  Yes, AF is on her way to town so chocolate, salt and ice cream are all I really want.  So, if I was truly following my band rules, I wouldn't have taken those two bites.  In reality, the second one was only taken due to the mommy factor.  I took a bite of Monster's and then Munchkin saw he had one...so to prevent Monster Meltdown I had to take a bite of hers too.  <---and it's little things like that that made me fat!

It's the Little Things

that make life worth living with the band, right?

Like finding a super delish meal replacement bar at a store just around the corner from your office.
Or finding they also carry a super protein shake that has 32g of protein and can keep me full the rest of the afternoon.
Wearing a smaller size work uniform.

It's also the little things I miss most.

I miss being able to have a PB&J sandwich.
I miss being able to enjoy a chili cheese dog without using a fork...don't you know the bun adds a major part to the enjoyment of such a thing?
I miss real hamburgers...again...it's the bun that makes it, right?  (although Cracker Barrell offers a bunless bacon cheesburger (that makes two meals for a bandster)).
And who doesn't miss a fresh hot KK doughnut?  Heck some days I'd even settle for a Pillsbury Toaster Struedel.

I also ran across a blog where someone apparently eats out every meal and while what this person eats is healthy, this person tends to really knock others who can't follow this plan.  Yes, this person eats great tasting food that is great for you and we could all do this
*If we were chefs with our own restaurant and tons of ingredients at our fingertips
*If our grocery budget was the same as a gourmet restaurant
*If we weren't working a 9-5 where mornings involved getting everyone in the house up and ready for the day and time allowed only for a protein shake for breakfast.
*If one wasn't stuck using their1 hour lunch trying to run errands because everything is closed by the time one gets off work. So lunch is another protein shake or maybe a yogurt and string cheese.
*If, once off work,  one is picking up the kids and shuffling them from practice to church to wherever.
*If on the few days the above wasn't happening, one has to cook something everyone, including the bandster, can and will eat.

This other blogger needs to realize what works for them is not going to work for everyone.  We are all individuals as is each of our lives.  If this other blogger wants to live the rest of their lives on a diet than good for them.  However I know I chose to be banded to get off the diet roller coaster and take control of my hunger and portion size.  To say those who choose to use the band to be able to restrict themselves to "everything in moderation" are weak or fooling ourselves is insulting.  Just because that person can't have one of their former weaknesses in the house because that person will completely binge doesn't mean everybody else will. 

I myself was a former binger.  Example: Pre-band I ordered some divine homemade toffee from a fellow military wife with an etsy shop.  I ate the entire order within 24 hours.
Post band:  I ordered some white chocolate raspberry caramels from same person and oh they are so good!  I ordered them weeks ago and still have over half the order.  Why the change?

A) When I focus on getting my protein and making the right food choices, the less healthy ones aren't as appealing.
B) I'm not as hungry and therefore not as apt to eat just to eat.

The band is doing it's job.  It's allowing me to lose weight and make changes in my eating habits so that I don't have to always deprive myself.  And if I don't have to deprive myself of everything I love the more likely I'm going to keep doing the things I should.

Besides, is it really fair to deprive the rest of the household who don't have food or weight issues of things because of my lack of self-control? I do to an extent when Hubster is deployed or in school because then I'm the only one buying groceries and the kids actually do like fruits and veggies. There is much less junk in the house when Hubster is gone...but when he spends a year at a time in a place most of us hope to never step foot in, I'm not going to say he can't have the things he's been deprived of for that year when he is home.

I think everyone needs to do what works for them.  Yes, sometimes we have setbacks, but it's a matter of taking responsibility for those setbacks and making better choices tomorrow.  It's a matter of supporting all those in this journey because in the end we're all working toward the same goal...being a healthier version of ourselves!  Being smaller and opening up the shopping avenues is just an awesome perk!

And it's good!!!!

Isn't that what they say when football players make a field goal??

Well I made my first mini goal!  I am officially 25 pounds down!  That fill last week is doing it's job.  5 pounds down in a week....SUH-WEEEET!!!!!!

I also loosened back up over the weekend.  Friday was still a little tight and I stuck to mushies.  Saturday regular food was okay and has been since. 

I think I might still be eating a bit more than I should, but I am definitely eating much less than I was before the fill.  I'm kind of amazed at how little I can eat (compared to what I was eating before) and feel full.  For example, on Friday when I was doing the mushies, a value menu cup of chili from Wendy's was almost too much.  Tonight, I had a few bites of pizza topping, two wings, and a couple bites of salad did it.  Pre-band, that never would have cut it.  It would have been at least 2 pieces of pizza, half an order of wings, and a full plate of salad.

I really need to find some protein shakes around here that I like.  They don't carry Amplify and I'm not sure I want to buy it online.  But to get my protein in, I'm going to need to start drinking one in the mornings...I'm too tight to really eat anything until 10:30 or so and I don't have the time to eat then.  Lunch is at noon and I've been taking a yogurt and string cheese.

The other thing I need to work on is water intake.  Really need to boost that.  That may be my morning meal....after my coffee to get in 20 oz of water before lunch and another 20 oz after.  I know that's still short of the recommended 64 but I'll work on getting another 20 oz between getting off work and going to bed.

I also have a mini goal of reaching a solid size 14 before December.  I'm a size 16 now, so I think it's totally doable.  I'd also like for these size L scrubs pants to be a little looser in the butt and thighs and the scrub top to be looser around my upper arms.  Hopefully my "Jiggle Free Arms" and "Jiggle Free Buns" will help with those goals!

Need some Bandster help

I think I'm tight today....I haven't been able to eat ANYTHING today without pain.  The pain is in the area where your collarbones meet...you know, that softspot at the top of your sternum?  My coffee this morning was hard to get down.  Lunch was a protein shake and I could feel it with every sip.  I managed to choke down 3 slices of deli-sliced ham at dinner.  However, it's now 9:10 at night and I still feel like something is trying to cut it's way through my throat.

So....is this what being tight is?  How long til things loosen back up?  I've been fine since the fill last Thursday.  Maybe it was the chicken and rice I made last night.  I tried to eat it but noticed at bite three I was getting stuck and quit eating.

Also, because I knew I wouldn't be able to eat anything today at lunch time, I stopped by this local little health store (kind of like a GNC) and that's where I picked up the protein shake.  I was asking if they carried the Amplify that I really liked but they don't.  They recommended a brand called Nectar.  She gave me a couple sample sized packs (one in strawberry and one in cappucino) and was wondering if any of you had tried it and liked it.  What's your favorite flavor?  If any of you are interested in trying it, it has 23 grams of protein, 0 carbs, 0 fat.  Sorry, can't remember the calorie count off hand.  Anyhow, it looks like I'll be drinking my meals tomorrow, too based on how I feel tonight.

And................................

I got an office job!!!  Yep, no more nasty nursing home!!!  I think I scared Monster when I got the call because as soon as it ended, I was screaming for joy and dancing like a crazy person.  LOL  Anyhow, I've been there 2 days and so far, so good.

Tomorrow is weigh day.  Can't wait to see how the fill has done....because I can't claim credit.  Excercise has not been a part of my routine the last couple weeks, but I'm hoping to start getting it in in the mornings before work.  I'd love to take the dog for a walk, but afraid to leave the kids home alone in case something happened here or to me while I was walking.  So next pay day I'm going to go ahead and get the Zumba DVDs as I can't think of a better way to wake up and get going in the mornings!!!

A Lucky Day Indeed

Whoo-hoo!!!  I got a fill!!!  :-D  Yes, I forgot to ask how much....but enough he said "We'll get you tightened up."  I really don't feel any different....although I can feel the liquids going between my pouch and stomach.  It's a different sensation for sure.

I'm on clear liquids and protein shakes today and tomorrow, then purees for two days, then back to normal food.  My friend is a doll and lent me her blender since my "Magic Bullet" broke! :-(  Now, is a strawberry daquiri considered a clear liquid?  LOL

And here's where luck comes in...that "new patient administrative fee" was waived once she found out we'd only be here less than a year.  I mentioned my concern about having to pay it every time we moved and I had to find a new doctor.   She also gave me a referral for a local doctor to use as my pimary care, since I haven't found one yet.

So, I have to say the office staff were on par for the rest of the people I've met in Florida...very friendly.  While I'm still not thrilled to be in Florida, I can say when we leave, the friendliness and warmth of the people will be missed.

Let's get this weight loss (re)started!!!!!

As Luck Would Have It

The appointment I thought I cancelled in fact was still on the books.  So I am going today to get my second fill since surgery.  Yes, finally at almost 6 months post op, I am getting a second fill.   I wonder will there still be 3cc still there from my fill in May?  Will it have evaporated?  Is that why I quit losing weight and *gasp* started gaining back?  Will a fill today get me back on the road to weightloss?  How am I going to feel afterwards?  Have I screwed up my band, stretched my pouch?  Am I going to get a lecture for not following up? If so, I'll lecture back about needing to line his pocket with my $250 program fee (that only covers the pre-op stuff I've already done).

I  will admit, I'm kind of scared.  It's been so long since I've had any real restriction or survived on a cup of food or less at meals.  It's been ages since I've gone 4 hours without eating and not be hungry.  If I go 4 hours without food, I'm stomach growling hungry. 

Maybe I am having second thoughts about being banded . It's going to  get real expensive if I have to fork over these unnecessary program fees every time we move and I'm forced to find a new bari doc.  Around here those fees ranged from $250-$400.  And we all know those aren't covered by insurance and are on top of our co-pays.

Anyhow, here's a little graph on my weight loss adventure since being banded:

My Weight Chart:

It's still a long way down to goal!!

Speaking of appointments, I just scheduled a dentist appt. for Munchkin.  She has a tooth coming in on the top right side where her molars are.  The problem is she hasn't lost the baby teeth there so it has formed a huge lump on the side of her mouth there, since there is no room for it.  She goes in Tuesday at 11:00.  Honestly, I'm a little scared for her as it might mean they pull two....and I'm sure it means we're getting really close to the whole braces talk.  YIKES!

FML!!

I'm over Florida!  I wish I was Dorothy and could click my heels three times and be back in Kansas where I had a house I loved, a job that wasn't bad, and friends I could actually turn to.

I got some really craptacular news today.  The county called and rescinded the job offer because of a grudge an old supervisor has.  Funny thing is, I had a letter of recommendation from her supervisor!  However, the director above them said I'm a no-go because of it despite the letter of recommendation, great reviews from my last two employers, and other co-workers from the same place the begrudged still works.  So now I am stuck at the nursing home, which I was reluctant to go to in the first place but knew I could get a job.

I also finally went to the doctor for this headache I've had for a week straight.  He seemed to think it was sinuses, but I haven't felt stuffed up at all and it's been a couple weeks since my allergies really bothered me.  Maybe it's residual or maybe it's the mold in the walls at the nursing home I am stuck in....I know it's there because they had to move a resident out of that room.  It wasn't just the a/c in the room but it's in the walls too and so since they're remodeling they've made it the temporary med room...where we have to get our supplies and count our controlled injectibles.  The headache didn't start til after I was exposed to that area.  I guess we'll see if the antibiotics fix it.  I also got stuff for the nausea and the headache itself, as well as a nasal allergy spray.  Oh, and he gave me what for for  not having any band aftercare since being here.  I told him I had the appointment scheduled...but with the current situation (below) I may have to cancel again.

Well, I went to check our bank account to make sure there weren't any surprises and things were the way they should only to find out there's a large chunk of money  withdrawn we weren't expecting.  We thought that sum of money was the reason Hubster's pay may have been messed up because it was supposed to be set up as an allotment.  So now, not only his check screwed up but it's really screwed up and he can't do anything about it until at least the 24th when his end of month LES will be up.  But they won't fix it until sometime next month if they don't manage to screw it up again...his pay has been messed up since May.  We thought we finally got it fixed in July and then they messed it up last month.  He went to have it corrected, and now it's even more jacked up.  WTF?!  FML!!

I guess all I can do now is hope DFAS gets it's head out of it's ass and corrects Hubster's pay ASAP.   meanwhile, I'll pray the Air Force base calls back and offers me a job with them (they've called twice to see if I'm interested) otherwise I'll be looking for some local retail or restaurant work because the nursing home just isn't going to cut it.

The one flicker of light today...4 of the 6 pounds I gained are now gone and I'm back into One-derland.

No Mo' Status Quo

So much for being thankful I haven't gained...because I've managed to gain back 6lbs.  This my dearies, is what happens when you get a band and get zero aftercare.  Not that I haven't been trying.

I finally got a part-time job with the nursing home and I've been orienting and dreading every single minute.  I went to nursing school to get out of nursing homes!  Well, while I was at the first day of orientation, I got a call back with a job offer for the county health department.  I went in the day after Labor Day to do the fingerprints for the background check.  Unfortunately, it takes 2-3 weeks for the results to come back and I won't start until the first day of their new pay period following the receipt of the background results.  So knowing I have this other job, that's M-F, no weekends, no holidays, an hour lunch.....really makes it hard to continue on with the charade of orienting at the nursing home.  However, I continue because tthe bills still have to be paid.  It doesn't help that the Army has completely jacked up Hubster's pay and we can 't  do anything about it til the end of the month when he gets his LES.  That's where we can see what DFAS did with his check.  Right now, he's getting shorted about $300 a pay period.  How'd DFAS like it if I randomly removed $600 from their monthly budget with no explanation?!  Anyhow...there's just one more glimpse into the glamourous life of an army wife...dealing with DFAS!

So onto the band thing - Yes, I gained 6 pounds.  Of course, I gained weight.  Hubster is finally back home with us and as usual, all things healthy have disappeared from our house.  The man does not eat fruits or veggies.  His daily breakfast consists of a Snickers and a Monster energy drink.  The only way I get veggies into him is if I make a casserole...and I'm a kind of casserole cooker.  Less dirty dishes!  LOL  But I know this cycle and I should nip it in the bud and am trying to incorporate more veggies with our meals and buying fresh fruits for me and the kids.  When hubby is gone, there's always salad, apples, bananas, baby carrots, etc that we'll munch on and we're not ashamed to have a bowl of cereal for supper on occasion!  LOL

Well, now that I have a job, I tried rescheduling with the doctor in Pensacola.  I talked to them Thursday and they promised a call back Thursday afternoon.  I didn't hear anything on Friday but know many specialists are closed on Fridays...why?  Because they can be!!!  So I called back every day this week and still haven't gotten a return call.  It's quite frustrating because I need to get seen before I start the job with the county.

However, I know that once I get in, it's going to be like being a brand new bandster all over again.  Face it, I haven't had any restriction since surgery.  The only foods I really have issues with are breads, doughy pastries, bananas and sometimes chicken.  Anyone esle get stuck on bananas?   I'm going to have to relearn the stuff about chewing, eating slow, and reducing quantity.  I never really went through bandster hell, but have a feeling I'm about to.

Also now that I have a job, I'm looking forward to ordering the Zumba DVDs because I know I just won't have time for the gym and that's a monthly expense I don't want to add.

Hope you are all doing wonderfully and enjoy the BOOBs trip! 

Finally - things are looking up

The interview went well and they are currently checking references.  Once they hear back from 2 of them, I can proceed to the next step, which is being fingerprinted for background investigation.  No it's not my idea of a dream job, but it's apparently what is meant to be.  It's part time, around my schedule at this point with the possibility of going full time when the unit they are renovating reopens.  And I think part time is good for now.  It will give us the income we need and still allow me to be available for the kids and finally get back on track with band maintainence.

So the moral to this story, is that it is all about His will, not mine and in His time and not mine.  It hasn't been easy and He's probably been just as frustrated with me as I have been with waiting on Him.

P.S.
Maybe, just maybe I'll be able to make it to Chicago.  It might be last minute and I'll have to stay out in the 'burbs with my friend but maybe I'll get to meet some of you IRL.

Just Another Pop In Post

I just realized it's been a while since I posted anything.  I'm still here.  There's just nothing new to report.  Still no job, still no fills, and the scale hasn't moved.

I'm 4 1/2 months post op and stuck at a measly 22 lb weight loss.  It's frustrating because I really wanted to be double that at this point and really hoping to make goal by the time my one year bandiversary rolled around.

At the same time though, I have to be thankful  I'm hovering, because if I continued to lose weight, I'd be running around naked.  Without a job there's no room in the budget for shopping.  So I guess I'll just be happy with the status quo and thankful that I haven't gained.

I am going to admit, I'm pissed that I didn't get the job with the 3.5 hour interview. 
A)  I missed out on 10 days with my family for the first interview with that company.  My son hasn't seen his grandpa since Christmas because I chose to go to the interview and cancel our summer vacation.
B)  Because the interview ran 1.5 hours longer than they scheduled, I was unable to pick my daughter up on her first day of school.  I was frantically calling the school and my next door neighbor to make sure she could ride the bus home.  I got home minutes after the bus dropped them off and asked about her day.  Her words were: "Why should I tell you?!  You didn't pick me up like you said you would."  OUCH!
C)  Because I'm apparently nuckin futs delusional because I thought both interviews went well!
D)  Screw them!  They're the ones missing out on an awesome nurse!

I had an interview yesterday with a nursing home.  I feel destined to be stuck in nursing homes....it's where I started out 15 years ago as a CNA wiping butts and giving showers.  I became a nurse so I didn't have to do that anymore and I don't like doing the nurse thing at a nursing home because I'm pretty non confrontational...I hate telling other people what to do.  Especially when they should know what they have to do.   I have a second interview tomorrow with the Director of Nursing.  It's a part time gig, but that may be a blessing, as they are willing to work with my schedule.  I may be able to get out of the whole every other weekend thing...or at least Saturdays.  Munchkin has games every Saturday for the next two months.

Speaking of which they are having a fundraiser and it ends on August 31st.  If you are interested, it's Pampered Chef and delivered directly to your door.  Just enter CAYA/Angel Sieb as the host.  If you've never ordered Pampered Chef, you can't go wrong with the $1 citrus peeler or their ice cream scoop!  It's seriously the best ever!  LOL  And the stoneware can turn anyone into the perfect baker!
CAYA Cheerleading Fundraiser

4-0

No, I didn't lose 40 pounds!  Hell, I still haven't even lost 30!  Actually, not even 25!  I found a different bariatric doc down here, but he wants a $400 "program fee".  Such B.S., really, because again when I asked what the "program fee" covered, it was all the typical pre-op stuff....you know, the stuff that I've already been through and done?  So it looks like I'll be going to the guy that only rips me off for $250...when I get a job.

Yep, that's that the 4-0 stands for.  4 job interviews, one which was 3.5 hours long.  Still  no job offer.  The most recent interview was for a company that is contracted by the state's Department of Juvenile Justice.  I am disouraged and I am pissed.  I am an outstanding nurse and any place I applied would be lucky to have me.  You know why?  Because I work my ass off, do the jobs usually of 3 people, and do it well!  My patients love me...which in turn, reflects positively on the company I work for.  It's not that I do this on my own though, this is what God has chosen for me to do in life...and that is why I rock at it.  Which makes it hard right now to have the faith and trust in Him that I know I should.  If He gave me this Spiritual gift, then why isn't He letting me put it to good use?!

So I'm still sending out resumes, but tomorrow I'm heading to all the local restaurants to apply for waitressing jobs.  Hell, at this point, I'll even flip burgers at McD's.  Would you like fries with that?

Just Poppin' In

Sorry I haven't been around this last week.  Munchkin returned home this past Sunday afternoon with my mom and two nieces staying until yesterday.  Yesterday was Munchkin's first day of school here in Florida and I had another interview with the same company as my last one last month.

The interview started at 11:15 and I wasn't headed back to the town where we live until 2:45.  So I had to call the sitter and get the number for Munchkin's school so I could call them and have her ride the bus home.  Then I had to call my neighbor (whose boys also ride the bus) to let her know Munchkin would be getting off with them.  I managed to make the 45 minute drive in about 30 due to my lead foot and lack of traffic, so I was just a couple minutes behind the bus.  She gets in the car so we can go get Monster and I ask her how her day was.  Her words:
"Why should I tell you?  You didn't pick me up like you said you would."  So yeah I lost some serious good mommy points with her yesterday. 

After picking up Monster, I took her to get some new shoes because she outgrew the ones I bought at the beginning of summer that she just let sit in her closet.  Luckily, they let me return them even without the receipt.  Monster picked out some new shoes too.  He says they make him run fast!  LOL

Hubby was home for a day and a half last week then went up to Ohio to see his two older kids.  Don't know when he'll be home, but that's nothing new.  Although Munchkin is a bit miffed he wasn't here when she came back from Grandma's and that he wasn't here for her first day of school.  He better be here before Tuesday as it's her first cheer practice.  She'll be cheering for the neighbor boy's football team through the local athletic youth association.

That's about all that's new.  I'll try to catch up on everyone's blogs this weekend as I'm off to run errands for the day.  Have a great weekend!

Follow Me

and I will follow you.  I have gone through my followers a few times in the past to be sure that I am returning the favor, but some profiles didn't have a link to their blog.  So, please, if I'm not listed as one of your followers, leave me a comment with the URL to your blog.

Thank you all for the warm welcome back!

Guess Who Went Off Her Meds?

The Battle

He's slowly creeping back into my life

Drawn back in by my loneliness and strife

Try as I might, it's a battle I won't win

It won't be long before he's in control again

Telling me I'm not worth the space I take up

That I'll be better off if I never wake up

I'm quickly spiraling back to the bottom

Evoking the nightmares I'd once forgotten

All sense of reason quickly begins to fade

As I relive every mistake I have ever made

Death and darkness consume every thought

In Depression's icy clutches I am caught

(written, copyrighted and published by blog author)

I should have known better, but it's been a solid year on those little life-saving blue and green capsules and thought it was time to see about weaning off. Apparently, it's not time. Therefore, I apologize for my dramatic, hair-flip, stage left exit. However, that is truly how I was feeling at the moment...not good enough. And that is a feeling I have battled all my life along with battling that bastard, Depression.

I created this blog to deal with the not only the loss of physical weight with the help of the Lap-Band, but to shed some emotional weight as well. Apparently the feeling of not being "good enough" for anyone is baggage that's going to take a little longer to sift through.

So here I am, trying to make my way through shit creek....paddle or not, to the clear waters I know exist somewhere upstream!

Bye-Bye, Bloggy, Bye-Bye *edited*

http://static.playdo.com/

This blog is going bye-bye (not that any of you will likely notice).

Not only am a professional reject, I'm apparently a social one, too.  It's become apparent that I'm not funny enough, witty enough or even interesting enough to continue to put time or energy into this and perhaps it's a blessing that I haven't been able to find a job down here and can't go to Chicago, as I'd likely be on the outside looking in there as well.

I hope you all have a fabulous time and wish you al the very best on your journeys!!

If any of you would like to keep in touch, email me through my profile.  Thanks, and so-long!

***Edited to add, I will still have my account and plan to continue reading and supporting you all.***

This blog will self destruct in T-24:00

All American Reject

That's me!  I received the official email of rejection for the one single interview I've had here in the nearly 2 months I've been searching for a job.  I'm not going to lie, I'm seriously disappointed because I have the experience, excellent references and really thought the interview went well.  Add to that the guilt I have for cancelling our trip back home to drop Munchkin off and just meeting my mom in Nashville instead.  Monster totally got gypped out of summer fun on the farm with my parents and my parents got gypped out of time with Monster, especially my dad, who won't be able to come down with my mom when she brings back Munchkin.

I'm doing my best to be positive, to let go and let God and believe the people who believe it just wasn't the right job for me and that He has something much better in mind.   Well, I hope that something comes to fruit really soon because my Type A personality can't deal with the bills that are piling up.

Yesterdays News:
Yesterday I weighed myself and saw 191...Seriously?!  I was pretty sure it was a fluke, as I know what I've been eating and it wasn't the right stuff this weekend.  Plus an 8 pound loss in 4 days....not likely, especially without excercise.  But I had to take Kaisa back to the vet 45 minutes away and didn't have time to check out the scale.

I weighed again when I got home from Kaisa's 6 hour vet appointment and it said 181......definitely wonky!!  Turns out one of Monster's little marbles was stuck under the scale and made it a little off balance.   So with the marble removed, the scale showed a more accurate number.   Still stuck at 199 going on week 3 again.    1 pound a week wasn't great but at least it was continuous loss.  This taking 3 weeks to lose just 1 pound is really for the birds!! In order to combat it, I'm going back to counting calories.

Other news:
I finally got Kaisa to eat something last night.  It wasn't much, but it was more than she'd eaten in the previous 60 hours.  Unfortunately, the cat likes what I'm feeding her, too, and she was showing some food aggression, which she's never done.  Usually she just gives him a look of "Why do you insist on eating out of my bowl?".  Last night she actually barked, growled, showed teeth and went after him.  So I gave the cat some in his dish to try to prevent it from happening again.

A Swimwear Recommendation:
Because of how long Kaisa's vet visit was going to be, I didn't want to drive the 45 minutes home, back to get her and home again, so Monster and I decided to go to the beach.  I hadn't brought any beach stuff with us, so we went to target.  I picked up a Merona Tankini Top and boy shorts (in a size 16!!).  The tankini top is awesome!!  It totally hides the jelly belly I have and with it's racerback gives great support to the girls.  I like that the boyshorts are a bit longer than most other boyshort bottoms I've tried....almost like short bike shorts but without showing the cottage cheese ass.  So if you're looking for a good suit, I recommend giving it a try. 

I hope you all have a great week!  I'm off to apply for a waitressing position at Cracker Barrel.  No worries about eating anything there as the only thing I ever get is chicken and dumplings and I can't handle the dough anymore....so it might just be a good fit!

Do Your Boobs Hang Low...

Just a couple NSV's:

Wednesday night at church, a friend asked me if I had lost weight!  Seriously?!  This person has only seen me twice a week for about 4 weeks!  She said she noticed it along my chin/neck.  Yay...I a chin....not two chins! :-)

I also bought my first strapless bra in years...in a 38D!!!  Prior to surgery I was a 40DDD!  When you've go bazonga boobs that big, there is no strapless bra in the world that is going to give you the support you need to get away with wearing spaghetti straps and I'm just not hippie/white trash enough to go braless now and for sure not at that size.  If I did, every where I would go people would be singing:

"Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro?  Can you tie them in a knot?  Can you tie them in a bow?"  Because um, yeah they do and yeah I probably could as with the weight loss they're pretty deflated!  Thank goodness for great bras that make them look good in clothes though!  LOL

Hope you all had a great weekend.  Mine was super-stressful as we almost lost Kaisa.  She spent the night in the hospital getting IV electrolytes (NaCl) and Hetastarch.  They couldn't give her plasma as they would have gone right through her.  The Hetastarch is a larger molecule and was enough to get her stabilized enough for her appointment tomorrow.  She lost 3 pounds since July 3, is anorexic, emaciated and was dehydrated as yesterday morning she also refused to drink or eat ice (which she usually considers a great treat).  The two attending vets agree with our vets from KSU that it is likely EPI and SIBO.  Thankfully, there is a wondeful EPI support group and one of the ladies there is sending me the proper enzymes to begin treatment as after the hospitalization and lack of j.o.b., I don't have the funds to pay for the needed testing tomorrow and the enzymes ($90 for 12oz).

The breeder and I are going round and round right now and it's looking like I will likely be filing a small claims civil suit against her.  Reimbursement would be great, but it's the fact this is the second seriously ill dog we've received from her that the vets all agree both were genetic defects.  Her contract specifically guarantees the health of her dogs for 5 years against all crippling genetic defects.  So it's a breach of contract. 

The vet here who refused to consult with our vets from KSU, follow the recommendations they gave me, do any follow up testing of her own, or provide me with the antibiotics I requested that are standard treatment for SIBO will also be getting a copy of the bill as it's her negligence that led to last night's emergency visit.  I had done everything I could on my own, following the recommendations of our vets in KS and had already scheduled an appointment with a new vet for tomorrow.  Unfortunately, Kaisa was so ill yesterday I honestly didn't think she'd make it to tomorrow morning's appointment without intervention and stabilization.

I'm not a litigous person, but Kaisa is a member of this family and I can guarantee you if medical professionals had done my kids this way, it'd be on like Donkey Kong to say the least.  I don't expect any less from the veterinary professionals in the treatment of my furkid.

Still no word about a job....maybe tomorrow will be the day!

Looking A Gift Horse in The Mouth

I know, they say you should never do it....but I am!

I can honestly say the only saving grace Florida has are it's people.   I am thankful every day that the people I have met have been absolutely incredible. 

A gallon of milk costs more than a gallon of gas.  I think the lowest I've seen milk here is $3.29 and it's usually closer to $3.79.  I think I need to buy a cow!

Then the trash company who charge an arm and leg doesn't pick up anything that's not in the trash can...unless you call for a bulk pick up.  But if you have moving boxes stuffed with packing paper and other miscellaneous debris...you have to empty them into said trash can (leaving no room for actual trash) and then break down the boxes for them to be picked up.  SERIOUSLY?!  If it fit in my trash can, I wouldn't be calling for a bulk pick up.  Then the topper...trash day is on Tuesday and I always think it's Monday.  So I set my trash on the curb Sunday night...I go to bring it back today (it was a lazy day yesterday and I didn't even go check the mail) and it's full.  REALLY?!  You pick up all the trash in the neighborhood except mine?!  WTH?!

I also just got my first full month's electric bill.  I use the Energy Select program and keep the house between 75 and 78 degrees.  I do all my laundry early in the morning or late at night.  I run the pool pump during the medium price range because apparently it should be ran from when the sun up to sun down.  I run ceiling fans to reduce the cooling costs and use as much natural sunlight to brighten the house as possible.  Yet my the bill was over $250!!!  The kicker is their fuel charge was more than what I was billed for use of electricity.  Never in my life have I ever had an electric bill that high...not even if you combined our electric bill with our gas bill!

Umm...so yeah...if y'all could keep the get a job vibes coming my way....I'd totally appreciate it!  Hubster's pay alone can't support the cost of living down here.  I'm also running out of places to apply to...there's not even any nursing home ads up right now and you can almost always count on a job there in nursing.  :-/

What's That You're Wearing?

I am currently wearing Eau De Mustard.  Yep...I smell like mustard and am proud of it!

See, there's this thing about living in the south...you cannot go into your yard barefoot or you will come out with bloody nubs where your feet once were due to the fire ants.  Now, I know this and I don't normally walk in our yard at all.  But I was finishing up the detailing of my SUV of Stink - vacuuming, wiping down the leather, the dash, and getting all the nooks and crannies clean.  Well, I was done and went to wind up the cord of the vacuum, which was setting just off the driveway in the yard.  Then I felt the little stings.  I swear I must have stepped on an actual hill because there were at least 20 of them on my feet.  I swipe them away as fast as I can, run to the kitchen and slather my feet in hand sanitizer...why, because it's what was handy.

I went back out, finished up winding up cords, closed the garage door, came in the house and immediately took two benadryl.  See, when I get bit by these ants, the bites swell up huge to the size of dimes and then they turn into these little fluid filled bubbles the next day.  They itch like mad and last for weeks and actually leave scars on me. :-(  After downing the Benadryl, I jumped in the shower because I was a sweaty, stinky and now itchy mess.

The Benadryl didn't do anything bu make my whole mouth numb (they were the dissolvable thin strips I keep on hand for the kids) and my feet were still swollen and felt like fire.  So me, asked any of my FB friends if they knew any home remedies.  First response was mustard and it was something I had on hand, so I gladly slathered my feet in mustard.....and it was such a relief!  So here, I sit in mustard covered feet, so glad my friend knew of this little trick!!!

And who knows....maybe it'll be the next big thing at Bath & Body Works!  LOL

Blah!!

That is how I feel right now in regards to my band.  I know I've been eating way more than I should even without restriction.  I'm worried I might have stretched my pouch but have no way to tell until I can get in to see the doctor...which won't happen until I have a J.O.B. and some C.A.S.H.  I have noticed that after eating I get a pain to the right side, the same place I had pain post surgery due to the hiatal hernia repair.

Add to that the scale hasn't been moving much at all, I just feel stuck and am a bit sad I can't use this tool that was given to me because of that darn administrative fee.  I asked around and there might be another doctor closer I can see, but I've got to wait til tomorrow to make some phone calls.

So in order to get back on track, I'm going retro to the pre-op diet.  That is my goal this week....to live one week on the pre-op diet and hopefully get the scale moving in the right direction and get my mind where it needs to be.  I also to plan to spend at least 30 minutes a day treading water in the pool and swimming at least 10 laps.

In other news:

Baby Jayden went home yesterday!  What an absolutely amazing little man and what  a testament to God's power and might!  He actually set a record for being discharged post transplant.  Prior to him, the earliest anyone had been released was 10 days.  He was released in 8!  God is good!!

I also had an interview on Thursday for an office nurse position.  There are two openings, one to work with an ENT and the other to work in their float pool.  The practice has 23 specialties and around 50 physicians so even in the float pool, it's a full time job.  Pros to the ENT position:  One doc and able to get into a steady groove.  Cons: Snot, Spit and Earwax.   Pros to the Float Pool position:  Exposure to many different specialties including neuroscience...that would be cool.  Cons:  Never in the same place for long and lots of personalities to learn to jive with.  Either way it's a job with good hours and decent pay.  I'm supposed to hear back this week whether or not I've been selected for one of the 3 openings.  If so, orientation starts the 20th.  I'd appreciate your prayers and good vibes that I get this!

Hope y'all had great weekends!  I'm off to clean out my car because it smells like something died in it! *gag*  Who knows...with kids, maybe something did!

Not That Anyone Has Asked

Baby Jayden received his new liver!

Post-Op in his ICU room

God is so good!!  His new liver is doing it's job, breaking down bilirubin!  You can literally see the huge change a healthy liver is making for this baby boy!  His jaundice (the yellow skin tone from high bilirubin levels) has been reduced and his skin is taking on a natural flesh tone.

After Being Extubated

He is recovering remarkably well at this point.  He has been extubated, his NG tube to drain his tummy has been removed as well as two central lines and his labs are coming back good.  He even got to have some jello yesterday!  As I said above, God is so good!!

Baby Jayden, like all of us, has gotten a second chance at life!  However, it has come at a great cost, as it means another family lost someone they love in order to give this gift of life.  I ask you will remember that family in your prayers as well as pray for Jayden's continued recovery.

As you all know, the family's estimated costs for the transplant are estimated at a minimum of $40,000 and now that Jayden has been transplanted the bills are already adding up.  There are a great number of ways to help this family and require only a bit of your time.  I ask that you please take that little bit of time and do what you can to make a difference to this family.  You know if it was your child or a child you love, you'd be praying for a miracle too and this is your chance to be part of a miracle and help a family in need.

For those near Sierra Vista, Arizona: There is a car wash this Saturday July 10 at Schlotzki's Deli to benefit Jayden's COTA fund.  They can use volunteers to help wash cars as well as donations of car wash supplies.  Check out Jayden's COTA page if you would like to help or get your car washed!

For those of you on Facebook:  Please take 30 seconds a day and vote for his charity "COTA for Jayden O" in the APX Gives Back Project.  Please share it on your status and invite your friends and family to vote and do the same.  Copy the links at the top of my blog and add it to yours and encourage your followers to do the same.  Together we can make a difference!  Voting ends on August 21.  The charity with the most votes in each region gets a donation of $30,000!  What a blessing that would be for this family!!!

• 
  
  Simply "Like" the page.
• 
  
  Then click the button that says "Click to Start Voting". 
• 
  
  Next click on the orange circle for the Central region.
• 
  
  Scroll down until you see "COTA for Jayden O."
• 
  
  Click "Vote for this Charity"

RECYCLE FOR LIFE:   Please donate your old inkjet cartridges, laser ink cartridges and old cell phones to Recycle for Life.  Jayden's COTA account will receive 100% of the current recyclable value of the items donated.  Work in an office?  Would your employer consider donating the empty ink cartridges or cell phones?  What about your co-workers, family and friends?  Please pass this on!

****PLEASE NOTE*****

Epson inkjet and laser cartridges, Brother inkjet cartridges, and remanufactured cartridges are not recyclable and should not be included with shipments.

Donations can be mailed to:

Recycle for Life

842 Chaffee Rd

Fort Sam Houston, Texas 78234

To donate directly to COTA and follow his journey

Click the image below

Finally!!!

*singing*  Fi-na-lly!!  It has happened to me....

Finally!!!  I made my first mini goal of shedding 20 pounds since surgery!  It's taken exactly 3 months, so it's definitely slow going.   But I'm doing it mostly on my own as I've only had one fill thus far.  I am averaging a loss of one pound per week.  Hopefully that will change once I get a J.O.B. and can afford the stupid $250 "administrative" fee the doc here requires before he'll do any fills.  Yes, I am still a little bit pissy about that considering everything listed in the "administrative" fee has already been done because it's all pre-op balogna that I've already done or bought!

I finally got my packet submitted to have my nursing license endorsed by the State of Florida.  Hopefully when I get back from taking Munchkin to my parents for her summer visit, it'll be endorsed and I'll be able to have a job ASAP.   Speaking of Florida, I've been here  for right at a month and honestly, I'm not all that impressed.  Everything costs an arm and a leg and the service you get for that price bites big burritos.  I'd rather be in Kansas...seriously!  How often do you hear that?!  One bright side to Florida is that I've been able to meet some great people and make new friends through our new church.  For that, I am thankful because I'd probably be losing my marbles otherwise!

Well, Hubster is here for the long weekend from Alabama, so I'm going to get going.  Just wanted to drop in and let you all know that I am still alive and the scale finally moved after 2-3 weeks of holding steady at 201.

Hope you all have a wonderful 4th!

Question About Fills

1)  How long post-op before your first fill?

2)  How many cc's did you receive?

3)  How many fills did you have in your first 3 months post-op?

4)  How many cc's did you have in your band at 3 months post-op?

5)  Did you have restriction by that point?

6)  How much weight did you lose in the first 3 months post-op?


Yeah, lots of questions.  Here are my answers:

1) I was 6 weeks post-op.

2) I received 3cc's in a 10cc band

3) I'm still not quite 3 months out and that is the only fill I have had.

4) I am still at 3cc's in a 10cc band.

5) I think I have a little more restriction than I did before the fill.  I cannot eat bread without getting stuck.

6) I have lost 18 pounds since surgery, although I'm hoping to make my first mini goal of 20# gone with tomorrow's weigh-in.

I asked all these questions because I feel like I am losing the weight really slowly.  I've been losing a pound a week except for the first couple weeks before my fill and last week when I lost 3.  I am exercising daily with laps in the pool and 30 minutes of treading water in the deep end.  I think I'll bust out the Wii Fit again and start doing it again, too....I just don't like how you can't get 30 continuous minutes.  I walk around the board in between "games" to try to keep heart rate up. 

Oh, and I took a sneak peek this morning and saw One-derland.....we'll see what the scale says tomorrow on the official weigh day!

An Award

Thank you to "T" at Diary of a (Former) Fat Chick for bestowing upon me a Beautiful Blogger Award!  She made my night last night...especially after the disappointment of not making it to goal.  Be sure to check out her blog as she is soon to be banded and is rocking the pre-op diet!

Hmmm....now to think of 7 unknown facts about me.   I've been thinking about this all day and still don't know if I can come up with 7!

1) I love gymnastics!  I was in gymnastics from the time I was 5 through high school.  I joined cheerleading only because we didn't have a gymnastics team.  I was like that girl in "Bring It On" that totally didn't fit in the clique. I coached for a while in my early twenties in Texas.  I watch gymnastics every Olympics and even watch ABC Family's "Make It or Break It".

2) I watch Disney and Nickelodeon even when the kids aren't in the room.  Hubster makes fun of me for it, but I'm so used to it that I don't even realize I'm doing it.  LOL

3) My two favorite foods are my mom's broccoli casserole and her homemade mac and cheese.  She makes the best mac and cheese ever and oh yes, I was a glutton.  I could literally live on it for the rest of my life!  Both mom's classics go great with my dad's homemade wings on the grill!

4) My all time favorite movie is "City of Angels" with Meg Ryan (before she overdid the plastic) and Nicolas Cage.  I still cry every time the candle on the table goes out in the cabin.

5) I love rock n' roll!  Everything from the classics like Bob Seger, to punk like Stabbing Westard, to the industrial like Coal Chamber.  I don't think most people who meet me would ever imagine me headbanging in my car with the radio up full blast!

6) I am a Pisces and I think the generalizations about my sign's traits describe me very well. 

7) My dream when I grow up is to be an OR nurse.  I find surgery absolutely amazing...but on that note, I absolutely cannot handle wound care without getting light headed!  Go figure!

Now to choose 7 more Beautiful Bloggers to share the award with:

Kellie - Our Everyday Blessings

Fiona - The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Jess - The Little Bandit

Jonique - Road To Rediscovery

Gail - Gail's Journey

Cheeseburger Girl - Adventures With The Lap-Band

Ashli - Skinny Tastes Better

To the award winners, copy the award and post it on your blog.  Then tell us 7 little known facts about yourself and pick 7 more winners!

Look Away!

It's just like a train wreck!  You want to look away, but you just can't!  It's hideous and gruesome, yet you just can't stop looking!  What is it you ask?!  It's me.......in a 2 piece! 

I know I said no pictures, but Kellie asked, so here I am...in all my so-pale-I'm-translucent, enough-rolls-to-stock-a-bakery and enough-cottage-cheese-to-start-a-dairy glory!  This is the first time I've worn a two piece swimsuit that was not a cover-all tankini since I was a freshman in high school!  I definitely rocked it better back then! 

Brace yourselves....it's not going to be pretty!

Grrrrrrr!!

I am soooo aggravated right now!!  My goal this week was to hit my first milestone of shedding 20 pounds.  It would have been a 4 pound loss in one week.  I checked the scale yesterday and was at 200.  Wanting to make sure I made goal, I got in the pool and treaded water and swam extra laps....made it a work out to count.  Then I step on the scale this morning - certain I made it to Onderland!

201

W. T. H?!!!  I gained a freaking pound overnight!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

On a positive note, I took the kids to see "Toy Story 3" and it was really cute!  I love the Toy Story movies.  So here's to "Infinity and Beyooooond!!!"   Have a great weekend!